Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Exposed

Iron chain cages the heart
Forcing courage to step onto
      A centre stage called, "my life"

Where,
Laughter is no longer estranged

      Locked away; is the showcase of misery
Sorrows are painted happy ..as,
      Rainbow afro wig and avid makeup, are applied

Settled for disguise ,
Mortality surrenders in exchange of love
Offering all I'm capable of
       Just to hear them scream,
               "Oh my God, you have certainly gone nuts!"

They say, a jester, a fool, sometimes even a clown
Flamboyant sounds, strengthen spirit

Yet, corrosion occurs in bits
       Slowly echos would surround

Convinced,
Tears never sting these crimson eyes
Pain know not the colored doors
       Oblivious to reality
               They act surprised at my shattered soul

Persuasion made impossible
But, I keep walking an extra mile
       When the pain gets strong to deny,

Promising more laughter than cries

               I just put on a big warm smile

Author notes

Prompt: I am not a joke, but may be a fool..

Photo credit: galeriaaniela.com.au (Painting by Regina Noakes)

2. "Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows
to anybody" ~ Mark Twain

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Symphony
    February 2

    Edit | Reply
    Very thoughtfully written, I could feel you taking me through the steps, and knew as soon as I saw "rainbow afro wig" that this had to be about a clown - but what a clown it was

    -

    and so true it is too, that we see them with their flambouyant clothing, and brightly painted smiles and rarely if ever stop to pause and think what's beneath the disguise, but you brought us through that - and also, how true it is that people can wear disguises without the bright colours, and we rarely try to see what lies beneath

    - this was crafty, and skillfully composed, and i throughly enjoyed reading it - you totally "exposed" the clown's disguise to us - great job, and thanks for entering


  • Ms.Daydream
    February 2

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this was creatively expressed! Describing our disguise like clowns, but depressed inside. It takes a lot of strength and courage to do that.
    The poem flowed really nicely, with you separating the lines at the right places with the right punctuation. Great imagery too! I especially liked the first stanza 'on this stage called life'. It's so nice! I find clowns somewhat disturbing, they seem to always have a big wide fake smile, but beneath, there may be a completely different face. So this poem really conveyed the message to me of disguise. =)
    Good luck in the contest! =D


  • Scyphon
    December 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a sad poem about having to fake joy to keep the world around us smiling and keep worries at bay. It was a wonderfully written poem, such emotion and beauty in every line. Congrats on your well deserved HM


  • penman gold member
    December 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Very creative and so well expressed. Best of luck in the contest.


  • colie50
    December 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really nice take on the prompt. I liked the unique format especially. Really brilliant write. Goof luck in my contest ^^


  • sharptooth
    December 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    They say, a jester, a fool, sometimes even a clown
    Flamboyant sounds, strengthen spirit

    Yet, corrosion occurs in bits
    Slowly echos would surround


    I looooved that stanza. & the subtle non end rhyme of clown and sounds.


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I loved your poem
    Felt the feelings that flowed
    The emotions and the sadness
    Well done on your HM
    Best wishes
    Julie


  • Joseph Hollis
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sometimes we create our own fairy tales and play games of dress-up to distance ourselves from reality. You've captured the internal struggles of life with this piece. Thank you for sharing.


  • Amera gold member
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderful! You left a note on my page so I came to meet you. I think you are a fantastic poet; this poem is a masterpiece of emotional imagery.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ahh the masks we often wear! You have written this brilliantly!! Good luck in your contest hun.


  • innocence jaded.xx
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I've decided that you are an amazinggg writer
    & I absolutely adore the way you write poetry

    -They say, a jester, a fool, sometimes even a clown
    Flamboyant sounds, strengthen spirit

    Yet, corrosion occurs in bits
    Slowly echos would surround
    ...

    You are a brilliant writer, my dear :] & this poem conveys your true talent. Amazingly written and phrased. I also loved how you italicized parts of it to make it stand out more. Creative Good luck in that contest !!


  • Ken-Maverick
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    BRILLIANT!!!!

    This is an awesome write,
    I can feel the angst seeping out of the computer screen,
    Sad, but beautifully written,
    This derserves a shiny, FOR SURE


    Good luck in the contest

    Ken

     


  • JinSays gold member
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I just put on a big warm smile
    you said it love.
    THIS IS WONDERFUL!
    I'm loving the chaotic feel to this, the feeling of everytthing falling apart and everything changing, and you sitting back and laughing about it all
    Fantastic love,
    jin


  • chilali
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Alyzeh. This is fantastic. I love the way you've written it. Your new style of writing, like..the way you place the lines and stuff is really great Your take on the prompt was incredible. I absolutely love the last stanza. Good luck in the contest love


  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful take on the prompt. So many do hide inside themselves. Very well done. Thank you for entering and good luck!


  • luna-midnight gold member
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    awww wow....this is amazing, and wonderful poetry. keep writting, twin sissy
    love you, Stephanie ♥

1 - 16 of 16