My mind has created a blanket of sadness
that covers me through the night,
in the day time a fog surrounds me
nothing clear ever comes in sight.
My thoughts seem to be in a vacuum
and my body perpetually tense,
for the first time in my life I can say
nothing seems to make any sense.
These feelings are all very new to me
my true fears have never been shown,
but with danger to someone this close to me,
brings a fear that I never have known.
I know doctors have sometimes been wrong
and new cures are still being found,
these are the thoughts occupying my mind
just to keep my feet on the ground.
With the hope that my fears are unfounded
my prayers are all for my wife,
not only is she the woman I love
but she's ninety percent of my life.
A contest entry
- Im Here If You Need Someone That Cares by storiesuntold.
925 points, ended November 28, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotion by Sharitti.
900 points, ended March 5, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cancer Victims and Family Members by StickyNote5.
900 points, ended April 12, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me feel it-Contest for heart wrenching poems by Guerrero.
400 points, ended June 3, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Passion and Pain by Nyx Kerethas.
525 points, ended August 5, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Passion Please by Fire-Fly.
400 points, ended November 10, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Very effective, very emotional, very real.
Well done on this.
Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest. -
I don't understand why this has not won a gold. It has everything, deep real emotion, good rhyming and honesty. Perhaps judges were afraid of such reality. I hope things have improved since the time you wrote this as I understand what living with this every day means.
Sheila
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It may depend on how relevant the poem is within the contest entered - just a thought.
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Beautiful and Expressive
Well written, very expressive, haunting. The emotions certainly come through.
As someone else mentioned, I hope you've shared it with your wife. I think she would love it!
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One word: Brillian
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this is beautiful. i think you should give it to the person whom its written about. this is breathtaking and heart breaking. beautful
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It is so hard to read these writes, as each one portrays the anguish that everyone who has had to travel this path feels
Excellent if that can be said about such sadness
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So beautiful and so sad to love someone so much and to have to face the possibility of losing some one you love so much... I particularly loved the last four lines.
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My eyes started watering end my throat closed up. i just loved it. the fact that love makes you need to stay alive...wow.
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Its such a blessing to find that person you love so much! I loved your very beautifully written art. Thank you for entering.
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wow, so powerful.
beautifully written and thank you for entering
kitch x -
wat a lucky Lady She is
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such a sad thing and so well written 6
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How wonderful to read of the bond you and your wife share...and your concern for her...It is such a blessing.. We shall pray for her..The flow and rhyme of your verses, make it a tender write, and most special "not only is she the woman I love, but she's ninety percent of my life" Bravo!
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wow this is really heart-wrenching, you have captured your feelings so well, but it's still sad, best of luck in the contest
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This is very melancholy. The flow is very very good. You're writting is becomming very very good. Keep it up.
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hmm
i really like the rhyme. so subtle.. you dont realise how sad this is.
much love, ill pray for the best.
oldschool
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I hear you my friend
My heart and prayers go out to you and know anytime you need to talk Im here for you . It is tough the unknowing and the waiting time and being there for her its hard to be strong but we know we have to be to help them get through this time . I know this is truly hard and often we seem lost and afraid but your not alone with this their are many of us that have walked in your shoes and held onto faith to see us through it . God Bless you and your wife my friend and message me anytime I will answer as soon as I get it
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