I have these feelings
Feelings that no one knows
I feel pain, a horrible very painful pain
I feel like crying, crying for hours at a time
Let me show you what i feel right now.
I will tell you how i feel about my feelings
Each morning i get up
waiting to be yelled at
Walkin' slowly to by bathroom door
ready to clean up all my pain with just,
one swift like motion
a motion that will cut my skin with one painful stroke
When that is done
i am wishing i will be gone
gone far far away,
in a place were all i have is me, myself, and i
something i wanted for a long time
I know there isn't that much to think about in my life,
But somehow i feel like i am not wanted anywhere in this world,
all i wanted was to be held in his arms
but NO!, no one, i mean no one likes me
I try so hard to change my inner self
i try to tell myself i will have someone to love
I tried so hard to tell myself i was beautiful
I changed my hair color
I changed everything about myself
But you never noticed
when i walked by, I flipped my hair
i flirted with you.
But to me it felt like i was flirting with thin air
i CUT myself to soothe the pain
I bleed inside
it puts me at ease when i feel the pain
pain of releasing all the hate and burden i cause people
my face tells a story
a story, that know one will ever know
I have feelings
and my feelings can't ever be understood
these feelings that i once had will never be discovered
my mind will show you everything in good time
but for now watch my body die
whatch me fade into the night
as i see the last drop of blood. the very last drop of blood
that drips slowly down my wrists
slowly the blood drips.
My heart in pain. All i feel is the blood
the thickening blood
So thick, dripping down my wrists
slowly oozing down my body.
this is all i do to ease the pain
I HAVE FEELINGS
PLEASE RESPECT THAT!!
Author notes
I WROTE THIS OUT OF THOUGHT. BUT IT IS TRUE. ALL OF THIS POEM IS ABSOLUTELY AND COMPLETELY TRUE. I FOREVER FELT THIS WAY. I COULDN'T EVER TELL ANYONE HOW I FELT UNTIL I STARTED WRITTING POETRY ON THIS SITE. IT HAS OPENED MANY DOORS FOR ME. AND NOW I SEE MORE AND MORE THINGS NOW.
A contest entry
- Im Here If You Need Someone That Cares by storiesuntold.
925 points, ended November 28, 2008, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
So what do you think??
Comments
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i'm glad you have a found an outlet for your pain, you can feeling it seeping from the page as you read this, but there is also some hope in, it's easy to tell that writing helps you to heal, best of luck in the contest
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I hear you honey
I know from many years back I have found myself feeling this very same way and at the time I thought it would be like this forever and felt their was no hope for me .I never thought or imagined that in time without me even knowing it was happening I was changin inside and often we have feelings such as these and we hide them from others for fear they would not understand .Then I met a friend and before I knew it those feelings were all fading and I didnt realize it untill they had all faded away and now later years I look back but I thank God Every day I didnt follow through . Honey there will be times you will feel this way I didnt cut but had this vivid vision of scratching at my face untill it was no longer the person I was . Scary hu well its been 55 years and now and then it passes through my mind for thoughts are like that but they are just thoughts nothing we should ever act upon for to do this we will not see the miracles before us in our future .Life never stays the same honey and know you will find this purpose and the happiness you so desire . You never know maybe while you were flirting and going after only that one guy their might have been another guy watching you and wishing the same thing you were but only if he could meet you or only if she would see me I am here . Please know to feel the freedoms of life you cant tie yourself down with hidden feelings and when you get home to crawl back into this depression if you can be happy and carefree in public why cant you when you get home look for the things in life that brings you joy and move toward that . For we can change everything on the outside to atract people to us but believe me they arent looking at the outside its what comes from the inside your free spirit your laughter and truthfullness and how you are around other people that draws people near .Be yourself and others will see you for the beauty you are . I so hope that these feelings you say you have been having you will shut them off when they come floating by and start off with just a smile if this helps and tell old misery to go away that he isnt going to spoil not one more day .
We all have times in our life where we feel left out or ignored but it passes and new memories and joys always takes their place if you allow it to be only you can leave it behind and believe me its easier than you reallize but if you stay tied down bu your own thoughts you will be missing so very much things you could never imagine happening to you . Believe me honey its true
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