A girl standing in a crowd
No one knows she is there
All of her friends have left her
She's all alone and can't think
She goes home and opens her stepfather's gun drawer
She pulls out a gun and loads it
She's tired of people's shit
All she can think is that its time to end it
She thinks and thinks yet nothing comes
The phone rings and she goes to answer it
She picks it up and says "Hello"
A voice answers......
...."Its not your time put it away....."
She hasn't told anyone and it scares her
Yet she keeps on listening hoping to hear what she has been wanting for so long
The voice continues......
"Tell them to stop
They don't know how you feel
They have no right to insult your intelligence, family, and friends
Ignore them"
~BOOM~
A gun fired in the background
The line goes dead
The floor is a pool of blood now
I feel like I'm drowning in it
I wish someone would listen
The Darkness closes in
I know the she is dead
That voice on the other line
My head screams in fear
My body goes numb
I can't feel my breath on my hand
Am I dead?
Did I let it go this far?
Is my life over?
Was the voice right?
Should i have let them do that?
....because....
I'm sick
....because....
They don't listen
Am I DEAD?
What do I do now?
SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!
A deadly silence is creeping up on me
All I can hear is the thumping of my heart
Did I do this?
Is it over?
What happened?
Can someone, anyone help me?
Why me?
The questions come into my head like a train coming into the station
What did I do to deserve this?
The Darkness is still coming
The more it comes the more I feel like I'm falling in a never ending pit with the walls closing in on me
My life flashes before my eyes
Not much but at least its something
All I can see is red
My throat collapses and I can't breathe
My breath escaped me when I fell!
Red is all around
On the walls and on the ground
Did I do this?
My head feels like its about to jump off of my "so-called" body
....well my guess is what is left of it
I ache all over, yet I can't feel a thing
I honestly don't think that is possible
"SOMEONE HELP ME!!!" I scream
But nothing comes out
I'm drowning in blood!
I think about the things I never got to do
And the things that I have
My life seems so short now
I'm too far gone
No one can save me now
I think about what everyone will say
About how my family will feel
GOD I'm coming
....I think I am anyway
Now all I can hear is
~~~~~BOOM~~~~~
I can see bright lights coming....
~~~~BOOM~~~~
The lights blind me for a split second
Am I dead?
Am I in Heaven or Hell?
I can see my grotesque look body on the floor
It looks mangled and mauled, as if destroyed by something inhuman
What so I so now?
Looking at my body gives me the creeps
So I look up
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bright lights, and a large gate
This must be the deciding fate
Help, If I go anywhere please let it be Heaven
Please?
I want to see my aunt!
I collapse into something, but I don't know what it is
I can feel everything again
I must be back inside my body
So I'm not dead!
I sigh, a sigh of relief as I hear that voice again
Telling me that its not my time
But the pain is SO much!
What do I do?
Is this a dream?
Where am I?
Am I home?
Did I make it out alive?
Again the questions run through me
I can't make them stop
My head screams in pain
Yet my body is numb
"Make it stop!" I scream
But nothing comes out
Why is this happening?
I did't mean for all this to happen
The silence comes again
Its all around me
Like a finger pulling me towards it
I can't escape it
Even if i try
Almost if I'm stuck in time
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can suddenly hear my mom crying
"Don't take her GOD PLEASE?"
I'm coming momma
Don't cry anymore!
GOD, I'm sorry but I want my momma!
I'm crying like a baby now
I know I am
"I want my mommy!"
I know she needs me
I'm all she has left
I feel an electric shock run through my numb, barely alive body
I know that's not possible
PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!
What did I do?
How did this happen?
Was if the voice?
Did they do this?
Where am I?
Where are you mom?
As the questions run slowly and steadily through me I awake
I'm in a hospital bed
Mom is right besides me
This is got to be a nightmare
What will happen now?
We talk about what happened
How much it would have cost her
Her only daughter
Her life and soul
Flesh and blood
What have I done?
Why must she be subjected to this?
I don't deserve her
She deserves so much better
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I learned today that "Rock bottom is as low as you can go"
Mom says that life can only get better
She's right of course
I'll just have to wait and see
Written by:
-Lani Guy
Author notes
I choose this poem to go with one of the gun pictures (for contest:RUNNUNG WITH SCISSORS (PICK YOUR POISEN))
A contest entry
- RUNNING WITH SCISSORS [PICK YOUR POISON HERE] by redhanded.
1800 points, ended December 13, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - big bang prewrites only contest by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended January 5, 124 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - making you scream by snakeprincess742.
400 points, ended February 12, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Life or Death by pumpykin.
800 points, ended January 28, 26 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TELL ME A STORY; SING ME A BALLAD by CelticQueen.
1500 points, ended February 3, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best of the best... by Jfd.
1500 points, ended February 3, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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when I first started reading, I didn't think I'd like this, but it def began to pick up and was a very interesting write, thank you for taking the time to enter!
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Im always afraid to write things that are too long for fear no one will want to read them. it seems that my longer poems dont get as much attention as my shorter ones. I love that you did this. and i love the detail you put into it. it makes me less afraid to write longer works. thanks.
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If you interpret the definition loosely, this would be a narrative. It's an interesting read, though it would benefit from a good proofreading and some subsequent revisions.
I really don't know quite what to say, it's so different. Thanks for entering my contest.
Celic Queen -
WOW
This is outstandingly incredible...took my breath away. Terrific write, thanks for entering
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this made me cry , i tryed to kill myself by a drug overdusce and it was like that sept for the creepy shit like the guy on the phone , it allot of meories came flooding back , good right- sobbs and hugggles her-
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This is a great poem! I've seen a story about a 17 year old who killed himself, but this is the first I've seen it in poetic form, & you did an AWESOME job with it! The suspense, the words, it all combined to make this write great.
Thanks for entering & good luck!
~Bright
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Big poem, I have to admit. And ususally that's a turn-off for me but this managed to keep me enthralled. The plotline was pretty jumpy but that was part of it's brilliance, it kept you guessing until the last lines. You have a very good narrative and kept a solid voice/style throughot which is commendable.
"My head screams in pain
Yet my body is numb"
These lines were like a stab in the haert to me. Simple but unexplainably moving.
Thankyou very much for entering this into my contest.
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This poem stumbled a little flicking backwards and forwards and at some parts it was hard to follow, other than that an interesting write.
Thanks for entering.
Laura -
This is so deep. i really love it..
I know the feeling of having people around you that dont give a shit about you and you feel like the only way out is to commit suicide. you dont even think about the other people who love you and care for you.
I used to get bullied pretty bad at high school because i wasn't like the people in my group i didnt fit in. and there were so many days where i could have ran in front of a truck on the way home. i just wanted to be accepted.
your poem makes me feel like im not alone. and also very sad to bring up those memories.
xx
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This piece is definitely among the more epic ones i've read. At first I thought this was going to be a generally long story of complaints concerning suicidal thoughts but began to reach a little deeper to find some interesting things. I just finished a 10 page paper on out-of-body experiences to find that most younger people are more apt to experience the idea of floating over themselves than others. And once they travel to this so-called light they are then asked the question of whether it's really there time to go or not. and upon making the decision almost 90 percent of those that can thoroughly remember the experience say they come back specifically for their parents. so, as much as this piece doesn't necessarily fit into a poem format, it is definitely accurate and has sparked my interest enough to call for a finalist spot. thanks for the submission.
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wow wow wow. XD I love this piece. My hands are literally shaking. this is a intense sucide attempt and one so full of emotion. its bizare and I feel you confussed as sucide takes its tole...kinda hallucinating which I too have done when I have attempted suicide. I can feel your pain and your emotion, I can feel the gun blast I can feel everything in this piece. this is x-actly what I was looking for. thanks so very much for your entry and best of luck to you in the future and with your writing.
andi
(redhanded) -
My, my, my!
WOW!
That was a mighty poem indeed.
The sweat of your brow and release of your ink
fearlessly we honor and recognize!
well done, well done!
Thankyou for your piercing and bold entry!
welcome to the finalist list!
flamesdragoness
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i dont believe rock bottom is the lowest you can go,i dont believe that life can only get better but i appreciate your write none the less and we are all entitled to our own oppinion well done
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WOW
that was intense.
So full of emotion, fear, and pain. I really loved the ending where even as everything seems awful, there is still hope because life can only get better. The only question I had, perhaps because I'm just not understanding it, was where did the voice on the phone come from? Was it her own voice? I was a little confused... perhaps you could clear that up.
Overall, great work!
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wow... i've never, ever, ever in my life read a poem that has kept me on the edge of my seat in suspense. That was incredible sis. GB
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