The modern Pharisees have always sought
to elevate themselves above the rest
by pricking random bubbles of free thought
and calling for a moral litmus test.
They want to be the ones to set the rules;
to pick and choose what virtues to uphold,
and using a specific set of tools
will winnow self-styled sinners from the fold.
What prompts the choices bully pulpits preach,
for some sins merely rate a nod and wink?
Life lessons can be learned from what they teach
and how they wish for each of us to think.
Do those who speak the loudest just reveal
the lapses they are trying to conceal?
The scolding eye peers through the bedroom door
at titillating secrets held within,
ignoring faultless children of the war,
on scales of what defines a moral sin.
The flaws of greed and pride have helped create
a freefall leading to the Wall Street gloom,
yet moralists refuse to regulate
while passing laws on who can marry whom.
Who writes the chart of each transgression’s worth,
deciding some are deadly, some are mild;
that sloth is worse than pillaging the earth
and sex requires creation of a child?
As hypocrites hide secrets in their hearts
they rush to judge unlucky counterparts.
Author notes
"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."
- H. G. Wells (1866-1946)
A contest entry
- NO GREENS! - A Rounds Contest by Pamela A Lamppa.
1700 points, ended January 20, 23 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Form Rounds Contest - Qualifying Round - Sonnet (prewrite) by Little Eagle.
600 points, ended March 3, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How do you think I could improve this poem?
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
-
Oh dear....
Well, it is far much driven by the need to rhyme. Then again, the writer has been unable to resist the temptation to tell what we should think, rather than leave it to us to draw whatever conclusion there is.
Sorry this is a little bit negative.
-
Excellent, and point made and taken. You painted hypocrisy, loudly and clearly, without ever mentioning the word. I love the "showing and not telling" of this. That you were able to turn your quill into a sonnet form, while still expressing your piece, is truly brilliant and impressive.
If it were in the Blue Lamp list, I would give it :
Outside of the technical details, I felt it expressed above and beyond in a way that gave me food for thought. I like when a piece touches me personally, and this does.
~Hettie
-
Wow, this Sonnet the most stunningly spot on poetic rant concerning todays cancer ridden belief systems. Well deserving of the Gold
-
Thank you for your entry
A double sonnet! Very ambitious of you and well done. Isn't there always a rulling government/dictatorship that tries to tell us what to do. In ancient times or not. They tried to deny us our belief in God and they try to tell us how to live and who to worship. Yet they fell and so shall those who have come after.
The form was done perfectly, accurate syllable count and the rhyme scheme was well developed. Good rhythm and flow.
I encouage you to keep writing to read and comment.
You have been chosen to proceed to the next round. Once the next round contest is up you will receive a link to that contest.
God Bless
Tammy -
Congratulations on the trophy!
Well deserved. I cannot add to the comments already made, but to add that I think your poem is excellent. -
Poetry can be classic in form and contemporary in focus, and here there is power in the critical eye; exposing the hypocrisy of those hiding behind moralisms. There to inflict profound harms in the name of pretense and presumption. A soapbox sonnet i think!... excellent and quite indignant...PK
-
This is like a anthem to protest modern politics; people are dieing yet headlines talk of Obamma smoking in the white house or try to tie him to irrelevant corruptions. I swear they crashed wall street because the middle east was no longer a viable distraction. Today's government makes me sick; but people buy the tabloids a feed the fires - people make choices. I hope for better.
Awesome work!
Ken -
excellent
I love your coinage of "bully pulpits" and the diction throughout is strong and clear. We are singing in the same choir with
" Do those who speak the loudest just reveal
the lapses they are trying to conceal?"
Your iambic meter is excellent, and the two sonnets argue the point without pause or possibility of refutation. I agree and I hope that you win this contest.
-
Oh My~
Love how You presented this verse and in Sonnet form also
I always told myself I would endure a root canal then pen a Sonnet
Excellent!
Powerful message and Inspires the reader to want more 
Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes in the contest too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
-
Gifted!
With a considerate allowance;-
of all that is right and true,
running free, may it always
be viewed as such the voice of love,
adamantly crying out, providing for,
a day for all the world;-
(to be united with God in peace as one ... !)
I hear you ...!
May a certain love forever remain
as a friend, reliable, open and true,
and may she scurry her way in view of all,
bringing the day of her awareness, complete,
and generous, honest,
and unconditional.
In other words, I stay, remain to pray,
because a sinner myself, in my heart,
at its core, absent and amiss, and twisted;-
it-knows-not this ...
it knows not the fullness of her,
and without her;-
truly I know now ... it never will.
So I pray love ... bring your provision of this,
that to truly see you,
your peace the world ... may finally fully know.
~ Love ~
~ James ~
-
Preach it girlie!!! I very much agree and love the write! Two quotes come to mind...
"The only vice that cannot be forgiven is hypocrisy. The repentance of a hypocrite is itself hypocrisy."--William Hazlitt
"A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is invariably plain"--Oscar Wilde
-
Magnificent double sonnet, meticulously crafted and conveying your message with ease and punch. I have no doubt you'll be in the further rounds, and look forward to reading your responses to more of these great prompts.
-
sounds like a story
-
brilliant write!!!!!
and this really speaks the truth. great and colorful word choice, i especially like the second stanza.
-
oh, here are you're well deserved clappies...
-
A most wonderful example of fine writing in sonnet form. A perfect piece in every way.
-
Have I ever told ya I love ya?! I TOTALLY LOVE this write! It is amazing. I agree with your words of who is to judge whom? and who is to make such laws for Whom?? Wonderfully written! I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! Brilliant!!!! (if i had more clappy dudes i'd have given you the max allowable!
x billions for this write!
-
Liz! You did it!
You have written a sonnet double that an English Romantic poet would have held in envy + their critics!
I was with you 100% all the way. Every line. And so well-crafted. I am actually standing in applause (as well as to help my posture. )
So pleased ... Ron.
-
Bravo! Standing in applause!
Oh wow. This has got to be the best sonnet on this site. - EVER! So smooth, mature and on target to the prompt. I finished reading and hands went to face with a gasp!
Such a genuineness about your chosen words, skilled at understanding what they mean and able to convey your message with ease and mastery of form.
My hat's off to you!
I cannot even pick a favorite line. I read the first four lines and I want to stand up and applaud!
Bravo! Bravo! Thank you for this masterpiece. A superb entry to this round. Incredible skill.
~Pamela
-
-
You're standing in applause too. That is my line!
-
-
This is an amazing take on the prompt. How it could get any better I just don't know. Beautiful write!!!
Best of luck in the contest.
-
Magnificent
If I read this before I entered this contest, I would have been too ashamed to put in a poem. You write so well and I am truly envious. One sonnet is difficult, but two like this is a prize.
-
Double sonnet? and filled with rich language, WOW! this is such a brilliant piece/s. Perfect flow! This IS a masterpiece.
Bravo!
Love and light,
Lencio
-
Your writing is exquisite and how I've missed it so!
-
You have made a very powerful, enlightening stand on your beliefs with this piece. It was done very well and the form was outstanding.
Good luck in the contest..
Soulful Woman
-
this is a seriously epic write, i love words, and the language here isso deliciously rich, i am blown away
thankyou
-
I will be back to comment later but:
WOW!
-
I actualy commented on this, but it did not take the first time, for some reason. This is a well structured double sonnet with a bite, and is a sure-fire tribute to the prompt. Good luck in the rounds.
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 29 of 29
