wafting
honeysuckles,
you sleep on our bed...
becoming a sparrow, I perch
on you.
Author notes
Form: Cinquain
A contest entry
- whiter words by Nicolette.
1500 points, ended November 20, 2008, 33 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Say It In Few Words by piccola.
650 points, ended May 22, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Metaphoric Romance - 20 lines or less by The Fun House.
1050 points, ended June 27, 21 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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This is dynamically sensual for so few words and really gives a great romanitc setting. I love the image it created and the feeling it left me with. Fantastic.
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Very
seductive in a few short words! Finely crafted Cinquain! Deserving of that Gold & Silver.
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What can I say? This is beautifully written. Thank you so much for entering.
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Congrats
so simple, elegant, so much more than the sum of these few words, gorgeous.
This was a well earned award in tough company.
Well done! On the strength of this one wee piece, you have flown to my faves.
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Thank you so much for your beautiful words.
I am pleased that you enjoyed my poem.
Your comments are very appreciated.
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This was the first entry I read in this contest and thought I have left a comment here...
The softness of this poem is so good, I could see the scene and it made me smile. Simply lovely!
Congratulations with the gold
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Thank you so much for your wonderful comments.
I am pleased that you enjoyed my poem.
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Oh I like this one!! Gorgeous cinquain and that last two lines are so amazing; really great twist there.
I don't have much to say other than beautiful and a perfect cinquain! Thank you for this entry.
~ Nicolette
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Thank you so much for your lovely comments, Nicolette.
I am pleased that you enjoyed my poem.
Your comments are very appreciated.
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I really like the metaphor you came up with. its just beautiful
"becoming a sparrow, I perch
on you."
lovely
~ *rose
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Thank you so much.
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I love this one. I wasn't going to leave any comments this morning because I haven't slept all night (sick baby) but just had to applaud this.
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Thanks a lot.
Your comments and applauses are very appreciated.
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descriptively full
your choice of elocution lets us execute the feeling that couldn't just be told.
that first expression has me want to hone in, and then context is as an address through many a nature. that's how I was taken with "wafting" over how and you complimnent found marriage mate arrived in " you sleep on our bed..." it seems as with head on shoulder sequence etcetera of intimacy way bird owns branch on nested aromatic bush. [awareness bright]
{and which}
tabs of spaces worked more this specificity. (like of men family name isn't confused to which brother even is so located loved.)
I see it exquisitely succinct,
called Carolyn -
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Thanks a lot.
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beautiful....
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Thank you so much, Tara.
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