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Redeemed

Missing image
A void
inflamed in white
My soul in stillness lie
Tempered by Wisdom's fire of light
Redeemed

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Nicolette gold member
    November 19, 2008

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    Nice use of contrasting images here that create a very lovely whole. I liked the depth and the spiritual quality of this cinquain. My favourite line was "inflamed in white" - white heat, white passion, purity, silence, joy...it applies to them all.

    Thank you so much for this entry.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Ronald Wiseman gold member
    November 15, 2008

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    "inflamed in white" is a striking oxymoron. Unless, of course, we are alluding to "white heat".
    There is a sense of the forge here where the soul lies to be heated until tempered for its redemption. Thank you.


    • Mary O gold member
      November 15, 2008
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      "inflamed in white" To excite beyond the natural in pure white exstacy is what I tried to achieve. To your thoughts on the last part is exactly my intention. Thank you so much, Ron,
      ~Mary O




  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    November 15, 2008
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    what a lovely piece you have here...good luck


  • smiley
    November 14, 2008
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    awesome

    this piece speaks in volumes beyond measure...

    Yvonne

1 - 8 of 8