Intervals of time
I seem to be trapped in
Seconds that replay
Over in my head
In the corners of my mind
I cannot find you
Through the woods that you
Deserted me in your not there
He did not want me
Author notes
~ new moon
A contest entry
- Calling all Twilight fans! and non-twilight fans! by LoneFairrie.
400 points, ended December 17, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Like, Dislike? Improvments?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Good Job!
This is beautiful. I loved the title and how it connected with everything. Very good.
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Great!
good work! I love all twilight related things!
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this is great! 'He did not want me' < that part was so sad...
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Awe, that really describes that scene really well. It was great
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I have yet to read the Twilight books so I wouldnt know how this would relate, as of yet... But good luck in the contest~
Oh, also I just want to point out that , "Deserted me in your not there", I believe it should be "you're" instead of 'your'. Also adding the word 'and' or just seperating the lines will give the reader the hint for them to pause. Since I read it like one whole line without a pause it seemed a little awkard, idk. See for yourself. ^_^
Other then that nice job. Just from this poem I can tell Twilight is probably pretty good. You should go into the advertising business. @.@
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Don't just read Twilight, read the whole SERIES! and this has nothing to do with Twilight, it has to do with the second book, new moon.
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