Eragon shouts,
Murtagh screams,
Arya pleades,
The Dwarfs bash,
The Elves sing.
This is what make up Alagasia
A contest entry
- Books by Torchwood.
415 points, ended January 8, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What are the good points and bad points. How can I improve.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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nice
very good, i am just starting to attempt erago for the third time!
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This is my worst one so i'm gonna do another
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There is so much that is missing from this ... it's not even a sufficient summary, I think. ... It needs detail, emotion, images, thought, power, feeling.
Focus on something special in the book. Paint an image, tell a story -- a dialogue between Oromis and Glaedr about their course of action at the end of the novel (to not spoil it for anybody else
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This is dry, this is vague, and, honestly, this is boring. I hate to be harsh, but I think you deserve the truth. -
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oy!
hey leave off, she knows its not that brilliant she said it herself! you could at least say its crap in a nice way!
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well done
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Well done. Could use a bit more detail. Good luck
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