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Brisingr

Eragon shouts,
Murtagh screams,
Arya pleades,
The Dwarfs bash,
The Elves sing.

This is what make up Alagasia

A contest entry

What are the good points and bad points. How can I improve.

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • iguana54
    November 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    nice

    very good, i am just starting to attempt erago for the third time!


  • MrCrepsley
    November 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is my worst one so i'm gonna do another


  • ZachP gold member
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There is so much that is missing from this ... it's not even a sufficient summary, I think. ... It needs detail, emotion, images, thought, power, feeling.

    Focus on something special in the book. Paint an image, tell a story -- a dialogue between Oromis and Glaedr about their course of action at the end of the novel (to not spoil it for anybody else )

    This is dry, this is vague, and, honestly, this is boring. I hate to be harsh, but I think you deserve the truth.

    • iguana54
      November 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      oy!

      hey leave off, she knows its not that brilliant she said it herself! you could at least say its crap in a nice way!

  • Torchwood
    November 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    well done

  • Torchwood
    November 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Well done. Could use a bit more detail. Good luck

1 - 6 of 6