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multiple faces of instigation.

there is no life
in living
in the shabby
stage
I feel trees
as I cross their slits
listen to the sun and moon conspiring against me
take the dagger
kill the man


I see cars
and rushing world
melting here freezing there


I see stars
shinny things
misted eyes
roughpalms
ugly foreheads
pursed lips;
hear footsteps
masticating my fears
like a horseman hunting for a head




singing
kill the man
kill the man

Author notes

prompt: ahmed, 31, watches a second-rate production of macbeth in a dilapidated playhouse, thinks about his static life, and resolves to die; shawnee, pennsylvania, 1992

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • nancy drew
    January 6
    Edit | Reply
    awesomeee =]


  • charcoal
    January 5
    Edit | Reply
    O: this is brilliant! you are brilliant.

    love the simplicity and the impact. wow!


  • aeolia
    December 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i usually hate statements like 'i see blah,' especially when repeated, but here, the repetition and passive noticing works really well. and fuck, your descriptions are awesome, like:
    "I feel trees
    as I cross their slits
    listen to the sun and moon conspiring against me"

    and the line about the horseman is great.

    thank you so much for the entry. good work, hope 'twas fun!


  • notorious
    December 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Youuu are smart.


  • Rembrandt Clarke
    November 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i am a little perplexed by the presence of this

  • aeolia
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    prompt: ahmed, 31, watches a second-rate production of macbeth in a dilapidated playhouse, thinks about his static life, and resolves to die; shawnee, pennsylvania, 1992

    have fun!


  • charcoal
    November 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    for once i want to be there before you're expecting me (:


  • Mr.Hairbrush
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Waiting is the most boring thing a person can do. Don't you think? I mean GAH! Waiting sucks doesn't it? Like I'm just commenting random poems and I came across this because Im WAITING for it to be 6am. Jeeze. Waiting blows. Alot. Yeah sorry if you find this random comment weird. Im just bored.And I knwo how it feels to wait. Lol


  • nancy drew
    November 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    am excited!

1 - 16 of 16