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Ocean of Repose

                               I watched the unmoving waves,
                               waiting...
                               until the gentlest of them
                               empathized and swept me away,
                               floating me into an ocean of repose…

                              Time unrolled,
                              moments fell like beads from my hair

                              before my eyes

                              and my gazing by the window,
                              flew me like a butterfly
                              across deceiving gardens and horizons,
                              to see my dove
                              making love to another.

                              I remained watching you
                              like theatre performers,
                              clinging to each other
                              as I clung myself to the aching curtains,
                              the passion piercing like crimson swords,
                              when you once drew me in your arms...

                              I stood watching the horizon of the empty sea,

                              waiting...

 

 

 

 

 

                              solitarily


 

 


                              on the shores of desertion,
                              until my feet began sinking in the sand
                              and then,
                              a strong wave came along,
                              and swept me away,
                              floating me into an ocean of repose.

                              Everything spiraled into tranquility
                              and my soul,
                              as white as the full moon snow
                              flew once more over serene gardens.

                              No obscure horizons
                              keep me from watching you...

 

 

Author notes

Okay...this is kind of a sequel to the last poem in the series of contest.

Prompt: The above picture, a self portrait by San Francisco born artist Madeline von Foerster entitled Metamorphosis #6.

lencio-sunchild

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    December 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You have made this picture your own by carefully and completely including all the various details the artist painted. Each image had revelance and your poem tells a complete and sad story of love betrayed. Thank you for your entry. Peace, Liz


  • lovlyme
    November 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I see its really good


  • Ellis gold member
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent writing

    From Lover to Peeping Tom? but peeping at lover with another, if I understand it correctly. Sad, but somehow accepted...


    • Lencio Rodrigues
      November 17, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Not really peeping Tom lol!, she knows that her lover is deceiving her and is in love with another, thats all. She actually doesnt see them physically making love... and then when she dies (drowning herself) she knows that it was all true.

      Lencio


      • Ellis gold member
        November 17, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Thank you for explaining. I read it more than once, but didn't get it. I have advanced Parkinson's, and am not as sharp as I used to be.


  • Umi Juvariel
    November 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This poem brought back bad memories for myself, but it was so beautifully written. I loved the imagery, it always kept a picture in my head. Great use of punctuation and placement, wonderful picture and good job for using easily readable font and colors. This was an amazing write.


    • Lencio Rodrigues
      November 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Umi, Im sorry this brought those bitter memories for yourself, as for me its just imagery and the picture that inspired this idea. Thanks for the overall observation about my write, took a little care about punctuation this time as that is one of the rule of the contest. I am glad you liked it, thanks once again

      Love and light,
      Lencio


  • chilali
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is an awesome take on the picture Lencio. I don't know why you think it isn't that great. It's complete. It's just beyond beautiful. I could have never thought of that. I love the way you've written this and placed your words so that they flow very well. The last two lines are just stunning. Perfect finishing line. At least, I think so. You are a very, very talented writer! I was on your homepage a minute ago and I saw that you have 507 poems. Publish! Publish! I'll be the first one to purchase your book I am a fan! Well done and good luck in the contest.


    • Lencio Rodrigues
      November 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Yes, you know what? I am glad the last lines caught your attention. They are meant to be the most powerful in the whole write, as they are the words from that expression on the face of the "white figure" in the picture. i kinda "face read" her. Now this write is a mixture of two ideas, this picture and my previous write in the series (which won a gold), so this is kind of related to that one, but again, stands on its own.

      Thanks, you are one of the greatest writers for picture prompts and I trust if you say that this is great, then it must be good.

      Well about publishing? Ummm..let me think about it next year lol! Not all out of 507 are worth reading! some of them are jsut scribblings! hahah!

      Thanks once again,
      Love and light,
      Lencio

  • michaeline
    November 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You are truely a very gifted writer,for one to be able to get the reader into the perspective of the writer and be able to see as they do is no small task.I like what you wrote and the care that you took in writing this poem.Great job and good luck in this contest.


    • Lencio Rodrigues
      November 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Michaeline, I just wanted to do this a little different and connecting it to the earlier write in the contest series. So I think that poem and this picture gave more ideas, perhaps if I get thru to the next round, I might have more ideas! lol, thanks for visiting this and for the very encouraging comment.

      Love and light,
      Lencio


  • Rose Angel gold member
    November 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You bring us into a focal vision of what you write here, by your imagery! Like being zoomed in to see what you write...Strong images, and words take us into all you see and feel...Powerful penning...between the waves, love and emotions portrayed...Most passionate scribing...Good luck in the contest..L!


    • Lencio Rodrigues
      November 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the very, very uplifting comment Rose Angel, i am glad you liked this and that the images are clear, jsut was not sure of it.

      Love and light,
      Lencio


  • Snowing Kisses gold member
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hi this is excellent possibly the best thing iv read toda. You create such imagry here that its more like a fine tapestry hanging in a faraway palace, Such rich seductively good language
    I watched the unmoving waves
    waiting
    until the gentlest of them
    Empathised, and swept me away
    Wow these lines swept me away too, in a beautiful ocean of words
    bravo again
    littlefishone


    • Lencio Rodrigues
      November 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much!, this in fact is something I related to another poem of mine, since its a series. It was difficult to do that, moreover because I am the gold winner of the first round, so I had to write something definitely good, to keep up!!! LOL! but I am glad it turned out this way. glad you like it!

      Love and light,
      Lencio

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