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My childhood home


where i once ran like a free bird
when my father pushed me on the wooden swing
attached to the old oak tree

now was a deserted place with lost memories

the once sky blue sparkly lake
where we used to go fishing was now
a small dug up hole all dried up

the once sand pit where my brother and i
built the  most beautiful sandcastles
had now disappeared out of sight

the pale blue sky
which had once given me boredom
was now pale grey-

with rain clouds filling the whole sky
giving me the creeps

how i wish all the beautiful memories would  return and
i would be able to live through my childhood once again


A contest entry

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Comments


  • transit
    December 1, 2008

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    aaww

    Though the underlying message is sad, the poem as a whole is easy to read and with strong emotions and beautiful imagery. The stanzas are just long enough and it made me want to read more.

    "where we used to go fishing was now" should be changed to "is" the other stanzas too have the tense mistake but so what! I enjoyed this poem and the lovely feeling it brought out. Good luck!!

    transit~


  • Beauty Of Silence
    November 15, 2008

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    aww sweetie.

    this poem was just so touching. there's just something about the past that everyone wants to return to. i dont want to grow up, i never did. i wish i could be just 5 all my life. its just when we were young, everything was just so innocent and everything seemed so perfect. and once we grow up, things become complicated. and everything turns upside down. abut hey, we're not peter pan are we? (i wish i was tho, i wish i could live in neverland, and never return to earth)

    I love the progress in this poem. i like how you changed all the beautiful things in your past to things that dont make a difference anymore. (YOU HAVE A BROTHER!?! is there something you and charu are hididg from me!?!) SPILL IT! anyhoo... your last stanza is gorgeous. i'm sure things will get back to the way they were hon. just keep the faith alive, and dont forget to smile okay. love you! ooh, and i'm sure you'll get what you deserve, both in this contest and in life.

    PS. thanks so much for today. thanks loads for coming. it made such a big difference. i really appreciate it, and the note, AWW... it was ADORABLE!