I think I'll go walking
down that old road,
down the beaten path
to ecstasy.
Where frazzled festive
weary neon,
fringed in eyes
of satin sadness,
seeks the spirit
of gentle comfort,
to tell of tired brow
and empty bottle .
I think I'll go walking
down by the river,
by the shallow hush
beneath the trees,
that meets the end
that's ever deep,
where no land rises,
to make my stand,
or go back home,
where she waits for me,
where she waits.
A contest entry
- Give me your very best!!!! Tons of points! by God is my reality.
1450 points, ended November 24, 258 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 73 of 73
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I like how well this poem flows. It is very good and creates a good image.
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i like the movement in this piece, particularly the last three lines
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I love this piece so much. The subtle images from your beautiful words blend together in the simple ending that steals my breath and leaves the aftertaste of a bittersweet tear in my mouth. Well and fearfully written, dear rogue.
-Kelly -
This poem seems to me to speak of a tender and deep-rooted love and yet there seems also to be a melancholy running beneath the words, as the narrator is taken by thoughts of returning home to all that he loves and yet he is not sure he will make it.
Great write that stirs the very soul =]
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and she still waits. wont you hurry up please, before she gets any older
Loved this, so you.
Jin
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ya know... home is where the heart is, is a very fitting phrase that comes to mind while reading this.
and whether it's playin' guitar in a bar every Friday night, drinkin' your cares away afterwards or trying to find some peace that you've been looking for all along, you can see that you're on the right track for yourself.
your words say so;
go back home,
where she waits for me,
where she waits.
bless your heart always,
gypsy man
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Wow, man. The melancholy tone speaks straight into my heart. Dig it heavy bro. Neon...
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Possibly the most heart stirring thing i have ever read....
Love it.....
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*sighs*
your words always sting my heart!
I think that basically sums up everything, for i am scared to say anymore.
I loved this but it saddens my heart.
-mandi
s
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Beautiful
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She waits in anticipation of her hearts return to his home
It is a poem after my own haunts and travels. I identify with your travel down the path. I definitely like it. Perhaps we are not all alone on our paths but just across the next hill.
I like it and felt it in my marrow.
Keep on writing. The path is not through a desert buit only a hidden world!
Dave
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...
i really like it....makes me think about my life and with the words "where she waits for me,
where she waits." makes me wonder if he is still waiting...and where is he right now that i just can't seem to find him.....
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I am mesmerized by your pennings You weave a lovely song, a melody that leads along. So lovely your work.
Khia
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Loved the wording in this poem, great work!
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powerful poem! lovely impact....
the message within it
is heart breaking and such a reality
for too many....loved how you worded it.
I wonder if...you broke up the format
just a little more...
to increase it's pull....
by adding restless
air inbetween...
i think i'll go
walking down
that old road
beaten path
to ecstasy.
the breaking of the lines
slowly unfolds the story
and increases the depth
of impact.
just a thought...i adored your poem!
way to WRITE!
ears/Seattle
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Nostalgic
and sad penning here my friend. Your word choice & imagery draw the reader in and give them a taste of another's life that almost seems like voyeurism! Bravo on another powerful write Liam!
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nice
trips through our memories as we visit the spots of Love, and hopes for our future desires, waiting at home. well imagend my same spots of memories.
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....gripping
i love it's rhythm...it doesn't rhyme and yet you come away feeling as if it did. wonderful words- very nice scenery.
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i did not know death was a woman... and why not have one last drink, eh?
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Excellent
Amazing write.
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Excellent write, very captivating and easy to relate to. I loved it.
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A brilliantly penned, captivating & thought provoking piece. I absolutely adored this ..WOW..DeeDee
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Great poem right from the heart
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Again, a gorgeous poem. Excellent writing Lowell and as FaeRae says, very human and we have all been here. Great stuff.
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Very Human. We've all been here, although to different extremes. Thanks for having the guts to post for all to see. Beautiful in it's melancholy.
Great poem.
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Speechlessssssss....
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this is kind of spookily romantic and very good indeed, thank you for sharing this with us and keep up the good work, a very good write my friend
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I really liked this poem
seems like something we'd have read in english class, except I actually enjoyed reading it 
. I like the kind of slow, calmness the poem embodied without being heartless, 'cause there were feelings in it, they just weren't slapping me in the face. ^-^
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
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MMM...
God, this is simply beautiful, Liam... I loved it!
PEACE
Sheli
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oh soothing and warm such a lovley romantic read, great flow and such a great use of imagery it really grasps you into the words almost inhaling them
" shallow hush beneath the trees"
i loved this line it really sets off the piece
loved it
xxxxxx
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You amaze me again.
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nicely written poem you have here. Thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering this into my contest. You write very well.
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This was so much more beautifully constructed then the one you picked as the gold winner and contained such deeper love. I definately am confused at your choice
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And waits... I love this, the feeling brewing through this is rending the form to an art.
Love the imagery as this taps into something greater.
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Forgot the applause.. . Sigh...
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I hope she waits for all of us, friend. At least metophorically. I see the "she" as "peace". Great job with this. Write on, poet. You have done well.
Blessings,
Myth -
i think iv been here before..
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Wow...reads like a journal entry...if the one who kept the journal was a poet with a dreamer's untamable heart.
What a beautiful poem, Billy...I love it.
The repetition in the last few lines is startling, effective, moving.The first two lines made me smile...and think of a certain night, not long ago...when I travelled down the UNbeaten path to ecstacy...
All, in all, lovely. Thank you.
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moving.
rivetting.
compelling.
very well written.
thanks you sharing
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Liked "frazzled festive weary neon." It reminds me of some of the days I've had that I seemed unable to stay inside because the fluorescent lights seemed harsh and unpleasant to my eyes.
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wow this is intense. i love it!
you wrote it so beautifully.
great job
your Faerie
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i like this. people will never cease to confuse us and I think thats a good thing however depressin occasionally.
sorry if i have completly missunderstood this poem
well done and good luck
kitch x -
Lowell...nice work on this! Your words express yourself quite well. I like what you do for AP! THANKS!
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I don't know why I bother reading all of these...they should have one, big comment button where I can just write- BRILLANTLY FREAKIN AWESOME!! I enjoy your words put to life so well. Great job
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sounds like a song that could have been song by Bob Dillon...wow my brother you floor me...from a wondering spirit, to a captive soul...lost and lonely yet wondering if they should go home...sighs...excellent my brother as always i am in awe
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GAH! Oh I love it! You paint three different paths, and each is captivating. You lend just enough to conjure up images, and emotions, but leave it almost cloaked in mystery. Totally fab.
Thanks!
Always
V
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A beautiful write! The first stanza brings out such beautiful imagery and some great emotion. Great write!
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This conjures up...
a very obscure feeling of being lost. That's how it made me feel anyway, how I interpreted it.
It seems to speak slightly of dependency... and how when your resources of comfort are gone, you have to travel back to the thing you, realistically, depend on the most.
I enjoyed both stanzas, particularly the first one for it's meaningful imagery and seemingly underlying messages, but also the second one - such a haunting image, a lone man walking by the river, with the sole purpose of coming home to the one he loves.
Even though it wasn't described... it made me think of fog, for some reason maybe to do with the feeling of being lost, and fog can do that to a person. Maybe it's my own mental fog XD
but a very enticing read, brother. The opening two lines were especially captivating and really drew me in.
"fringed in eyes of satin sadness,
seeks the spirit of gentle comfort," such wonderful wording and imagery.
Fantastic. Waiting in anticipation for the next one!
Jess x
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Oh just nice.
Some wonderful penning here.
The second stanza has to be my favorite because in the first one it seems like the person you speak of is alone and lonely and in the second one this person is not so alone and lonely that this person has found what i call happiness, maybe.
all in all great write!
-Mandi
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oh the places in life that we often find ourselves, it is only up to us what we do in this world, keep it flowing
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The difference in the two stanzas...astounding. Such a similar set up, yet such a different feeling. The first stanza seems to be about a tired soul, wandering the city, where everything is attention grabbing, butnothing seems to pop out anymore. And the second stanza, its just so serene, so peaceful, yet, so sad. Like a person who has all the dreams in the world but no chance to have them bear fruit. It's a powerful piece indeed, my friend. Well done, and as always, your work brings such powerful emotions from the heart and soul, to the forefront of my mind. Bravo, Lowell!!!
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wonderful penning my friend, it takes me back through memories past and dreams dashed. Exceptional work.
Rory
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It brings one to wonder at the choices. To brave that which has been known in the past to, perhaps, not be all it should. Or to go back to the comfort which is known. It is a good thing to know that someone is waiting...is it not
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i like this... i think this is one of your better poems by far.
Where frazzled festive weary neon,
fringed in eyes of satin sadness,
seeks the spirit of gentle comfort,
i like these three lines the most. they are very deep, and very good. awesome job lowell, as always!!
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I already commented, I know...But I thought of something...
Is someone experimenting with shorter styles? Testing the waters, so to speak?
How does it feel brother? -
Oh!! How many times do we in a lifetime find ourselves on that same road. That great, wonderful, and overpowering feeling that only lasts for a short time. That feeling one would want to last forever only to wake up and find it was only a dream or just imagined. My imagination ran wild as your lines took me down that road once again. I think I'll continue to walk by the river for a while. Thanks Lowell; another great work my friend.
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Just read this again, and I have to say, it grabs me even more the second time around. Really lovely.
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Nice job. I have been in that place myself. It is a tough place to be. Sometimes you need the option for silent contemplation.
Mike -
For you, this is a short piece! But it is so full of beauty, of heart, and of conflict. It stuns me with the beautiful lullaby of hopeful melancholy.
"fringed in eyes of satin sadness,
seeks the spirit of gentle comfort,"
and the ending, like it always does when you write, leaves me with a shudder. A completeness, that leaves us yearning for more.
"to make my stand,
to go back home,
where she waits for me."
beautiful, Liam, absolutely beautiful!!!
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Once more my poet friend you move me almost to tears, so much of what you write strikes a long burried chord in me,
seeks the spirit of gentle comfort
To tell of tired brow
And empty bottle
Such a two sided picture, drunk, or loving soul mate, slightly worse for wear and amerous, A truly
lovely write meanders along all on its own, a delight to behold infact. Thanks for inviting me to read it I so love your work, always different, like a sumptuous lucky dip
Have a beautiful day
Theresa
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Liam...
Well my brother...where to begin? The beginning sounds good.
I like how it's sort of matter of factly...It comes easy to the speaker...
The beaten path, still leads somewhere....
You have the final say...
No matter from whence you came...
This is very, very good. Empty bottle is always sad, makes you think of hard times...
Yet, compare the two ending lines.
..and empty bottle...
..where she waits...
You can see how the poem progresses, how the speaker has changed maybe. And I like the change...
Keep it up brother,
BRANDON
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wow amazing write
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Wonderfully understated and most potent piece of poetry here! Though this is very different in style, it somehow made me think of Beddoes' "Dream Pedalry".... fine, very fine!
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I like this poem, though why would he want to go anywhere but home? It really makes you believe the person is attempting to justify anything out there as being good enough to step away for a while, only to come to the conclusion that home is where life is. Good write!
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Where she waits an absolute gorgeous name.....
Well it just came to my mind, a beautiful sceanry created with words.Words which are always hard to find only some have magic of this kind ......
Love Susan
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This is truly well written!! You do a truly incredible job with your writes!!! I love the way that you portrayed this piece!!! Excellent details and descriptions!!!!!!! And magnificent imagery!!!! I love it!!!!!!!!!
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Very nicely penned. The character within this, seems like he is full of hope that this person is actually waiting for him, wherever his destination may be...
Nicely Done
ASM
AKA Raymond -
Wonderful thoughts you sketched here. The images I had in my head as I read where so beautiful and calm. I specially like the ending because it was so well thought and touched my heart.
There's nothing more beautiful than to have someone waiting for you somewhere. Thanks for sharing this with us, it was a touchinf piece, my talented friend.
Keep up writing, bro.
Much love
~Noor
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I think
It sounds just lovely poet... the thought , the walk, the wait.
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Awwwwwww.....
Lovely Liam!!!! I think it has good flow and it is all you. No one can pen it like you do darling. Fantastic write. All my
gypsy
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This was phenomenal. It read itself. It allows entire story to be hidden within these few lines.
Síochán leat
~Mairéad~
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kinda has that good hearted woman waittin on a good timin man vibe to it. well done.
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Love it!
Really beautiful.
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