Nectar;
Sweet
with the uncanny taste
of those lips that first beat you
Drink;
devour
and I have finally come out on top
Stuttering as I watched myself fall
Leaning against empty
Walls
Pictures feel on either side
They burned in my throat when I swallowed
this glass
just
had always been half gone
I skipped across the river on
the bottle caps
7-8-9
Counting…
and said I would stop
Just then.
These ribs turned brittle
my breath grew
Moist
and I had been infected
After 8 months
Long
dropped
with a hangover
from a whirlwind
called “love”
Did you lie to yourself
when you said you would quit?
After poisoning
number 3
I’m still under the influence
Author notes
so you know how when you drink you are supposed to keep the bottle caps so you know how many you really have had?
does that really stop anyone?
no matter how it burns when it goes down those pictures always stay
A contest entry
- Intoxicated by Hell In Harmony.
3500 points, ended November 18, 2008, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Drink;
devour
and I have finally come out on top
I know how it feels
After 8 months
Long
dropped
with a hangover
from a whirlwind
called “love”
Did you lie to yourself
when you said you would quit?
RAW. i like it
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You're an amazing writer
& I love this poem. It's so brilliant and just wow. You always leave me in awe, love.
-Pictures feel on either side
They burned in my throat when I swallowed
...
Beautiful lineees<3 love them Keep it up, dear, & good luck in that contesttt♥
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awww
you are so kind
!!!
i miss you manda!!!
<33
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very nice
This was very cleverly put together. It does say a lot about the thoughts that one could have during this kind of happening. I think this is really great and it speaks to many that have felt this feeling! The Shaker
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that was a truly clever write to combine the two
imageries....drinking and loves sorrow our expectations.
well done...I haven't thought of that in years.
ears/seattle
i might have changed the word beat to one a little
less severe...to the lips that first tormented you...
the word...beat kinda touches on cores some don't
like to hear...
I thought your poem was very cleverly written!
ears
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thank you so much for that comment
made me smile
and about the diction
well i didnt mean it that was
it was more like a
beat you there thing?
idk
hahah
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:[
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what?
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