Part of my mind
floating in
The Middle of Nowhere
somewhere,
anywhere...
Maybe Mars
burning like the liquid thoughts
that stain my heart
floating in a cloud
No pain, ticking away
the eternal
timebomb
eternal fantasy
in this ephemeral dream
But too bad
the other part of my mind
is rooted forever
in this ephemeral nightmare
I'm an eternal timebomb
This Reality
agonizing my thoughts
Meanwhile,
this Forever imagery
disappears...
This also resulted.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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beautifully written
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Beautiful
Imagery in this write, i can feel the deepest of emotions in this
My favorite lines are
Maybe like mars
Burning like the liquid thoughts
That stain my heart
Beautiful
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that is how it works
I couldn't have explained it better. Good Job! -
This is really emotional, and I know what it feels like to feel like this. Its not always a good feeling. But no matter what you think at first, sometimes its for the best. And by the time he's ready to try again, you'll have moved on to a better guy, and realized that you didn't need the other fella. Hope I've helped! Keep writing!
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This is a very emotional piece, even to me, just a random reader. The only thing that stood out to me in a negative manner was the double use of ephemeral. I would suggest using a synonym in one of the two places - perhaps one of my own personal favorites, evanescent, might fit?
Other than that, nicely done
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