looking in the mirror
its so blurry i don't even know who i am
i used to laugh a lot and run with the breeze
now my heart feels heavy
you know exactly what i mean
the days turn into night
the nights turn into days
my heart is heavy as i walk through this maze
i am trying my best
but my mask is melting away
you can see right through me
just look under my glass laden eyes
i ran today to speak to a head shrinker
thinking i would find an answer for pain and death
she was sweet we laughed
but still went home with the rest
tell me how to say goodbye
to my dreams
tell me how to watch the one i love suffer
and still keep a bright smile
if
you
have an answer
will you write me for a little
while
and try to make me smile
i will be here for a while........
A contest entry
- Write About Change! by Between My Ears.
800 points, ended November 20, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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very good
an excellent piece
lots of good imagery
there is a way to see the light
it's not easy, may not be right
but
when if it is justice that you seek
stand tall, don't be meek
when there no answer, seems to be
just say
is there something you are not telling me
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Nicely written, the struggle you face is well voiced. Strength sometimes, fails us and we must find it somewhere. My heart goes to you.
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WOW!!!! A nice thought..
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Excellent
Ah, 'tis a fine write, indeed. I like the clarity with which you expressed your ideas. Thanks for sharing this one. -
a rather touching piece here, a sense of honesty and feelings lain bare for all the world to see, and a call for words ...as if there were such words...to heal...somehow it is within, somehow we always know this...excellent ...PK
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Ooops sorry made a mistake at the beggining, I meant to say How are you?
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Awesome
Hey How are?I enjoy reading your poem alot,it has a bitter sweet vibe to,like dark and sweet,which is what makes the poem so beautiful and dark at that the same time.
~~~~~~Sweet_Chanting~~~~~
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Black and Blue
Seems the color scheme is extremely appropriate to the poem, but it still made it difficult to read...(but then my monitor stinks.)
sort of reminds me of "Blue on Black" by Kenny Wayne Sheppard...
great write, hope you got a smile.
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Oh wow... this was incredibly personable. Dark and heavy with emotion. Superb!
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wow what a lovely dark poem! this was amazingly written. it really speaks volumes about pain, despair. and of course your talent!
thanks for sharing this!
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I liked this poem alot, i especially liked these parts,as they are exactly how I feel............I used to enjoy life , ...more, and felt I knew where I was in life and sometimes I'm not so sure anymore. One thing that always makes me smile though is remembering my mom telling me, " You think this is the worst that s happened to you, lol haha, keep your head up, it only gets worse...." and thats her way of letting me know, im strong and i can take ANYTHING you throw at me, Bring it... !!
looking in the mirror
its so blurry i don't even know who i am
i used to laugh a lot and run with the breeze
now my heart feels heavy
you know exactly what i mean
and
my heart is heavy as i walk through this maze
i am trying my best
but my mask is melting away
you can see right through me
just look under my glass laden eyes
.......thanks for being you, and keep sharing.
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this situation seems extremely sad and unfair.
absolutely heart wrenching ...
as painful as this is it's a beautiful piece.
love it
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Nice poem
I dont know the answer, but one thing that I know is that you are a very nice poet and this is a very simple a soft expression, a monologue, sort of nostelgia
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Change is often not the answer
When in the darkness we are lost
Moving softly throught the shadows
Feeling pains most hurtfull cost
Wishing hard for the answers now
In a life gone dark and gray
Only time holds the key now
As you sleep walk thru each day
Focus on the all the smiles shared
Keep the dreams alive to share
For life is always changeing true
but love is still allways there
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Focus on right now or you will lose what you have to tomorrows fears. The more you let your love and your ability to focus on the moment work for you the more you will share and know you loved all you could in the time you had and let no moment escape. You can't control the course of the journey but you can fill the time it takes to travel it with all the good things you know. This is what is important because permanance like perfection are not the arenas for man.
Love, Tom B.
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i really enjoyed this...it was so nicely written...a little sad but sometimes change is sad...keep up the good work...thanks....
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Wow. . . this was amazing. Sad. But it was great! It made me cry! Congratulations on such a great poem! Keep writing, PLEASE!
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thumbs up
well done but the background takes away from your words
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Nicely penned. Full of emotion, and symbolism. I loved it from beginning to end
ASM
AKA Raymond -
AMAZING WORK!!
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There is sentiment about within what appears a lost appetite, and by that, I mean a downheart felt soul who really feels alone at times. There seems to be no hope, but I assure you, after reading this, I feel the care, attention to detail and artisty delving deep to implement more compositions like this, which I am sure will enable you a style which strangely will cheer others up. I'm sure you are a healer of sorts, i am sure of this, Read the story about Saint Bernadette. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernadette_Soubirous
something like you I feel.
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tell me how to say goodbye
to my dreams
tell me how to watch the one i love suffer
and still keep a bright smile
I could relate to these lines and yes I do ask myself these questions all the time.Hard times do paas by. Great write and the choice of words are excellent.
Susan
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i could read your pain
your heartache
well done at getting that across
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Well...emotion are heart felt n very well described.
At times it is actually hard to accept the reality. I know how it feels to burry your dreams away as i have experienced it myself.
Good write.
Thanks for sharing.
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I like this a lot. I think the ending comes a little bit suddenly, I'm not sure exactly what I would alter, though. My favorite lines ar: "tell me how to say goodbye to my dreams, tell me how to watch the one i love suffer and still keep a bright smile" Thanks for your entry.
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thank you
i changed the ending a tiny bit,
i hope you like it. this was a very hard poem to write.
it is where i am living day after day.
thank you for your comment
and allowing me to express myself in your contest.
love and light
candice
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