I look across the empty room
That's now quiet as a tomb.
I visit all the old places
Scanning among strangers' faces.
Praying to the Lord God above
To return to me my true love.
Nightly she returns in my dreams;
Mind lit with brilliant color schemes.
I see her just as she once was
Carefully watching what she does.
In my mind it's so well composed,
As i see better with eyes closed.
A contest entry
- PIF Lucky Dip by catalyst..
650 points, ended December 1, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Bravo!
Standing applause!
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Grinning.
Thanks.
Mike
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Nice write
Oh to dance within the realm of sleep where life is so perfect this is a good muse
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Thanks for reading and commenting. After a loss, dreams may be all that there is.
Mike
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This is brilliant! You told a whole story in a few lines... just beautiful; and the poem, so neatly written.
When you find yourself dreaming about the loved one... you just don't want to wake up.
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Thank you very much for reading and commenting. I am glad you enjoyed the poem.
Mike
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I love how you incorporated the title perfectly in this poem. It was full of imagery and the rhyming was completely natural. Great write
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Thank you you very much for reading and commenting on the poem. I appreciate it very much. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Mike
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Well done my friend all the best in the contest
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Thank you. I am glad you enjoyed the poem.
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Well well done this is absolutly wonderful.
the flow is good. the rhyming at best.
the story told is beautiful, gentle and clear.
agin well done and all the best in your future writing and in the contest, my thumbs are held for you.
keep up this graet writing.
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Thank you very much. I am glad you enjoyed this poem. I do not feel it is one of my best. But then again, those are usually the ones that my readers tend to like the best.
Mike
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Brilliant write! The flow was very good, the ryhimg scheme was perfect and I loved your use of imagery. The ending was a very great message behind the title. I loved it! Keep up the good work!!! -Pammi
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Thank you very much for your kind comment. I am glad you enjoyed the poem.
Mike
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Beautiful write of lost love
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Thank you. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Mike
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your title is
I see better with eyes closed.
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