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what?

Dislodged words struggle for dominance inside my head.
Masticated syllables bleed freely on my pages,
garrulous, pithy observations stack one to one,
against fluctuations in my comprehension. . .

I have so much I want to say. . .

thoughts race,
my mind is never quiet.
why does expressing myself

have to be so damned hard?


fuck.


I give up.

what was I thinking?

Author notes

not finished. I have no idea what I want to say.
Prompt:
need a fuckin' muse who can appreciate:

Feels like I'm racing time, fighting gravity,
and compromising with existence....





write.









points may go up.



no rhyme
fuckin' hate it...
no more than 30 lines

no shit

A contest entry

yes, but what do you think?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • michaeline
    November 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the honesty in what you were thinking in this poem.I can see why you won gold.You were easy to understand and relate to in this.I think so many of us feel this way at some point and it is good to see it written down and expressed.Congrats on the trophy and thanks for sharing.I am glad that I got the chance to read this.


  • adsaige
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a good start. I love it...and if it's not finished, that certainly tells me something. There are many thoughts that are in here, and a powerful emotional poem...burning with exquisite words that make my salivate!

    Finalist.


  • oceanbluize
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That's a good start to a powerful and emotional poem. AN relinquish thoughts screaming to get out yet a barrier exists somewhere? I've never known your writing not to be fluid Jin. It will come out. It always does...may you find what you seek to say...It seems like your on track about your writing as a whole...that passion is an inferno inside you Jin...unleash the beast!!!


  • moon2u
    November 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    fuck is my way of saying stop for now...

    your are priceless
    I shall return


  • tomisb
    November 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I will be checkin
    Love,
    Tom B.


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    November 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This looks like it will be excellent mom!!!

1 - 6 of 6