Please hold me closer and promise me this,"
She asked of him through dying lips.
"You won't let go till my blood stops its flow.
The last memory I want to have is your kiss."
"I don't want to recall how badly I'm hurt,
nor you to remember me covered in dirt."
But all he could see,
Green eyes, perfectly
While he wiped away tears
And blood stained her shirt.
To his own heart he held her,
His chest to her ear
She knew well it's rhythm
Been memorized for years.
He whispered how much he adores her sweet face
That no other girl could take over her place
And how lucky the angels in Heaven will be
"Cause you, baby girl, are perfect to me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When St. Peter asked how she could smile so bright
As the last thing she knew was a painful light.
"No," she said. "You're slightly mistaken.
There was one last thing before I was taken.
The crashing pain was snuffed outright
By my true love's arms holding me tight.
Last thing I recall, just a second fore this
Are the worlds sweetest words and the warmest soft kiss."
I already miss him and I hope he knows
He helped me say goodbye,
Helped me let go
Helped soothe my pain from broken bones
Let me know it was okay to give in and go home.
St. Peter chuckled at the surprising ways
God seemed to work things out these days.
It was obvious to him that she didn't yet know
Before her, he'd arrived, ten minutes ago.
Author notes
Option 4. This is a poetic version of the story that someone very very close to me told me in comfort of losing my best friend and her boyfriend in a car accident. In the poem, the point is god knows best and love transcends all. the boyfriend died before she did but was able to still comfort her on her way home as well. if you thought that it was sad, read it again! its actually a very happy poem.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Picked Two:
3)Write about love in general, What it means to you?
Love means lasting comfort and trust even (and especially) in dire painful situations. It means always being there for someone, even when it should be impossible. And lastly, true love lasts forever, even through death (as is what i wrote about) or through a breakup
4)Write about lost love ones. (Friends, Girlfriends/Boyfriends, Family) This is a poetic version of the story that someone very very close to me told me in comfort of losing my best friend and her boyfriend in a car accident. It really made me feel better because for one, they were the 2 most in love people I've already seen and for two- if anyone would be able to be there for someone to help them move on, when they've just died themselves, it would have been him.
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Option 2--
Just give me something happy.
Option 3--
Something sad?
i picked both because its very sad all the way through, til you reach the end and it all turns around
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Option Four: Make Me Cry.
That's right, I want you to make me cry. Simple as that. Or is it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1- When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home.
- Tecumseh
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
option 1 AND 2 journeys of the mind
In a list
A contest entry
- Got any good ones ? by Anu-Nataraj.
500 points, ended February 27, 35 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Have Lost My Muse! Please Send Me Your Best! by Nicada.
800 points, ended February 11, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Oh The Options!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
400 points, ended February 19, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LoveNeverDies by LoveNeverDies..
740 points, ended March 6, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My first Contest - Need an AP Family by softest-whispers.
1700 points, ended March 6, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - RHYME AND RHYTHM-PW allowed by Heva Feva.
550 points, ended July 3, 107 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 54 of 54
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"To his own heart he held her,
His chest to her ear
She knew well it's rhythm
Been memorized for years.”
These are my favourite lines! Thanks for entering my contest and good luck.
-heva♫
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no.
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Thank you for your entry ~Luce
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WOW
You should get more then a honourable mention, there is an outstanding aurae of emotions, happiness, sadness, etc.
Exaclty what I wanted.
You are a brilliant writer, and I hope you continue.
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wow
i liked it a lot...
reli good emotions -
Its probably the best poem ive ever read.
I love it so much :]
I can see the happiness of it
I actually saw that halfway through reading it
<3 beautiful
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What a sad, but a beautifully written piece here. At least in the beginning, it appears to be very sad, but in the end, the reader is lifted up in joyfulness. Joy because he helped her to let go in peace, and also because he was also united with her in heaven. This is a wonderful write! Thanks so much for entering. Blessings, Patty
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This was amazingly beautiful.
I loved this poem!!!!!
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this is amazing so sad.
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wow! i absolutly loved this poem... you wrote it so very well, and it had me in tears!! great job....
thank you so much for entering,
and good luck!
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oh no! dont cry! LOL i was crying when i wrote it. thank yo uvery much for the compliment
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Back with points!!
I have read this before, but I was very new back then and wasn't able to leave the applause I wanted to. This still gives me shivers. Such a brilliant write and you deserve all the trophies you've had for it. Keep writing!!
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wow this was sooo amazing i really loved it . this was a very great piece and it really touched a place in my heart. great job and keep it up.
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this is one of the most beautiful and touching poems i have ever read, and a heartwarming tribute too
thanks so much for sharing this little jewelwith us
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This is a very sweet poem, but also very messy.
The rhyme scheme and the meter are all over the place, with no particular order or reason. Putting the emotional input aside, it was not very good at all.
That being said, however, the emotion was very powerful, loving, and sweet.
Thanks for entering!
~Memoirs
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Wow!!
I think this is awesome. Full of emotion and imagery....you took my breath away!! Good luck in the contest.
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Moving to the point of tears. I loved the last line when he hadn't actually been there... Spooky!
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Well done. I'm at work at the moment and don't have time for a more in depth comment, but I will come back and revise this comment. Just wanted to give a quick note, awesome job.
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This was so beautiful! I got chills just from reading it! I definently didnt expect the end when you said "Before her, he'd arrived, ten minutes ago." This a very very good write. <3
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this was beautiful but it doesnt fit in with making Alyssa smile over her loss im afraid i will have to remove this from my contest it was a very beautiful piece and i really did enjoy it but i dont think it fits in my contest
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This is a nicely written poem that is clear it all came straight from the heart. Full of emotion. Very nicely done, I am glad that I got to read it.
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. This was beautiful and it gave me Goosebumps. I thought about adding it to my list but decided that others just fit the contest description better. I couldn’t over look that even though this sad story touched me. I’m sorry for the los of your friend. Patti
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A perfect love stroy is the kind that makes you think
way to go.
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Oh My Word~
Powerful piece You have penned which tugs at the Heart
I am sorry about Your loss
this took Strength to pen from within~
I commend You for doing so
When I lost someone that was already a part of me- indescribable
Congratulations on Your Trophy win!
-Throws confetti-
Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooo
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
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I know what it is like
to lose a soulmate to an accident. It is a pained feeling that doesn't really ever go away. Thanks for the entry.
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This is a very moving poem, even more so after reading your note. Congrats on winning the golden cup.
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this poem damn near brought me to tears and i never actually can picture a scenary to a poem it was like as i was reading i had flashes of what i was reading like a movie clip i like this good luck in the contest
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This was written well and I enjoyed the read! Good luck
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well this is full of emotion and is something that is very hard to cope with--but i like this story
the overall flow is great and i really like this--
i hope you've been able to cope
good luck
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this has really been in a lot of contests whew! It was too romantic and sweetly/sad to cheer me up though. I was wanting to laugh and this almost had me crying. it's a really good write though. Congrats on the HM. and thank you for entering
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Congrats on getting honrobal winner in the give me emotions" contest. honestly thougth you would win.
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Thank you for enteringf my "Celebrating poetry and poets" competition. This is a very sweet story and - although you do need to work on the versification a little more, it brought tears to my eyes. But it does not seem to belong in this competition, since it makes no mention of poetry or poets. Sorry...
But I am sure that when you have worked on it a little more, you will have great success with it elsewhere.
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This was SO beautiful; it's like something that you'd receive in an email to be forwarded on - ahh the dying scene reminded me of "A Little Fall of Rain" from Les Miserables; but then the way you turned it all around and had happiness for the girl at the end - and the boy to be with her too ....
One verse in particular struck me, and it was this one;
"To his own heart he held her,
His chest to her ear
She knew well it's rhythm
Been memorized for years."
What a GORGEOUS way to word that; truly, it just leapt out at me and grabbed my attention. I enjoyed reading every verse of this; bravo - and thank you for entering it
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I really loved it!!
I thought it was amazing poem.
But... it made me cry so much.
It's so sad. Really really sad.
Good luck in the contests -
Very Very Good
This Fits Perfectly in both Prompts
Thank you so much for entering
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this is amazing and so sad, great write. good job and good luck
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Wow,I know how you feel, I dont see why you didn't win anything on the other contest, I've lost a friend that was like a brother to me exactly a year ago last wednesday. It's hard.
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Avery sad write Thank you for your entry.
Good luck in the contest. -
ABSOLUTLY AMAZING
THIS, is EXACTLY what I was looking for. Amazing. It reminds me of poems I use to write when I was younger, things like that came to me. I will be looking forward to reading more of your poems.
Goodluck in my conest, and thankyou for your entry!
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WOW on the poem I loved it it's the sweetest thing I've read! awesome really, keep writing! ^^
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f'ing awesome!
i'm not a big fan of rhymed poems usually, but you definitely won me over with this one. the story is heartwarming, and oozes feelings of love and bliss even in the grave situation the speaker is in. best of luck in the contests, and i'd definitely like to read more poetry like this... people take notes!!
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ooo, its not boring...AnnD might take it down!!!
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huh?
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This is a very good poem, the story behind it is astonishing, the way tyou worded it is really good, I love it, welcome to the finalists list.
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I don't know if you'd be interested, but it did get edited a little bit. A stanza was added and a few words moved around. Thanks for the comment!
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wow
this poem is wonderful! it reminds me of my ex bf. he died, killed himself and the last time i seen him he kissed me goodbye! this poem is so sad, but a wonderful poem!! great job! -
Very, very charming and sweet. Its beautiful. It goes to show that true love can't be broken. I liked it very much so. Keep writing. Its an amazing piece, a true work of art!
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NICE, very well written. It was very sad, but that was the beauty of it. The everlasting bond between two people, a love so strong that not even DEATH could come between. KUDOS!!!!!
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Wow. You have serious talent. This one is much more to my liking (if in line count alone - damn A.D.D!) and the rhyme is actually rather nice (I typically hate rhyme!) as it adds to the poem without making me think to heavily on the rhythm. Very nice indeed & good luck in the contest!
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beautiful..
sad. but amazing.
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This is a really good poem. The rhymes you make here are perfectly executed and not cliched. Your story of the two lovers is a really sweet tale. This is an amazing piece of work here.
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Absolutley beauiful!! I love it so much!!!!!!
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OH MY..
WOW..Crushingly beautiful!! excellent my friend! really you out did yourself here! wow a most touching and amazing lovestory..I thinks gets the gold!
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Oh this was very sad
Yet you penned it very well indeed it has depth and emotion and the embrace before the goodbye
Sad write it is and sad that the young feels they have to do this to make the one who left feel their pain only they didnt know when young and they take then leave they feel nothing and most often arent grown up enough to even understand why
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