The pain it hurts
Deep inside
One year has past
Im still alive
Since you left
Its hard to see
The beauty and love
That surounds me
You took my love
When you died
And left me hear
To sit and cry
Its better for you..
That your gone..
The pain you had
Has moved on
So rest in peace
My beloved one
It hurts to breath
To move and see
I need you here
Your part of me
Rest in peace
My beloved one
Rember are hearts
Will allways be one.
Author notes
bah-humbug
- Emotions group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Give Me Emotion by DemonicChanel420.
500 points, ended November 24, 2008, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold for Gold by echo-ink.
900 points, ended January 7, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1011 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This was so simply written, and yet it was beautiful,
I especially loved,
"Since you left
Its hard to see
The beauty and love
That surounds me"
How true is that; once we get a huge disappointment in life, it can be so hard to see the goodness in life around us after that...
Couple of small corrections below;
"One year has past" <-- should be passed.
"And left me hear" <-- should be 'here'
"That your gone.." <-- should be you're
"rember are hearts" <-- should be Remember our hearts
Such a sad poem to read, thank you for sharing it with us
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Lovely words for your lost love.
Thanks for sharing this one here and good luck!
Jeremy0826 -
Lovely poem for your missed loved one.
Thanks for entering. -
Good Job
Good job I think this flows beautifully , has lots of emotion, and is very pretty
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great flow you captured...
i definantly see why this won gold.
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Ah so you stole the Gold trophy in this contest I am teasing, can see why you won Gold. Very well deserved. Great job, your truly a talented writer. Thanks for sharing.
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This is an amazing poem, this is exactly what I'm looking for, welcome to the fianalists list. Great job, I absolutely adore this poem!
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I like how you say they are better off "gone" because of the pain they were enduring. It reminds me of a suicide. Different people have different views on this subject, but I believe it is a personal choice and the loved ones who are left behind should be happy for people who choose to do what is best for themselves. I've heard several people condemning suicide and the most common argument is they are being selfish. Isn't it being selfish if we tell them they cannot go through with it, which in effect we are saying we prefer them to live in agony, or when we blame, or condemn, them for causing so much hurt in our lives for their choice in which coping strategy they resort to using? There is my rant of the day lol. Overall, good poem. Keep it up!
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wow
LOVE it!!!!!!!
ur really an amazing poet -
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Aww thanks. im not THAT good a poet tho
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