Trains roaring
as that bloody whistle
shatters the silence
that I enjoy in the afternoon
and I wonder
if I'll ever find peace of mind.
But that's how life goes.
Funny how things hit ya at times
as we go on
within life.
But I guess it's not that bad.
Things always could be worse.
You just have to keep a smile on your face
and that step
within happiness
as life gives us all
a sense of humor
to get on.
Nov. 13, 2008
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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i know what you mean, things are tight for me and my family right now, but somehow we still make it through the day even with as hard as it gets we don't just give up. with today's society and the economy it seems many have the same struggles.. i think things are slowly going to get better.. nothing can happen over nite
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Im not sure if the layout of the poem adds much, I can see the connection between the fragmented layout and the thought process style of writing... but still not sure if its working for or against the poem... I guess its a matter of preference.
Nice work.
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Wow I love the meaning in this piece and it is well written put together and planned out ! I enjoyed reading this thanks!!
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ok
This was really a weird take on the photograph! I really am not quite sure if I like it or not! Not trying to be critical, but I felt like you were just speaking your thought aloud. Sort-of like talking to yourself but in writing.
Best regards
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not towards me...towards my audience
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its good the way itss set owtt...and its a well written poem...i like the message behind it...it a great poem 8-)
keep up the good workk!!!
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Wonderful poem, flows well and has an excellent message. Being able to move forward isn't always easy, but the alternatives terrible.
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You did a real good job writing this piece.
keep up your amazing work!!!!
Crimson Viper -
Cheery outlook on a healthy life. The line "things could always be worse" could be reworded for a little more originality, IMHI
The rest is just great the way it is.
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I loved the first part, like your calm gets all screwed up...I just love the word shatter, and the picture it puts in my head. I also like the way you put the format, all back and forth like....it gave it some more character.
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Poet
So true are your words.. As they say.. Any day above ground is a good day...write on and smile. I love the way the words and picture are put togther.
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Nice. I like the encouraged optimistic outlook on life. I always try to look at the positive side to things, because thats the only way to look.
Nicely Penned...
ASM
AKA Raymond
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