Through tears and pain I've come to find,
I'm stronger after every fight.
Your words, though sharp,
Can't slice my timid heart.
Crippled, broken as it is,
Still there is love,
A will to live.
If my heart was strong as him,
Doubt if anyone could get through.
He sees my weakness,
My fears,
Seen my pathetic tears.
Hasn't turned away,
Helps me to go on.
I know not what it means.
He says I'm strong.
All my friends think,
I'm unafraid,
I can go on . . . alone.
They also know,
The broken me,
The one that can't be seen,
The weak one always needing help.
I try to hide,
But they still see,
They still know
Who I am
Just how broken.
There is no way,
No way at all,
To thank them,
Picking up the pieces when I fall.
They saw me fighting,
Getting you to see.
Now finally you understand,
We'll never be where we began.
Still you and they love me,
Love me as I am.
By: a Friend
Comments
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Hi, I saw that you had joined The Loft and wanted to read some of your stuff.
I like this. Though if you don't mind a bit more of a critic side, I must suggest using less punctuation. The commas seem to be place kind of poorly and they interrupt the flow considerably. If you removed the unessasary ones it would be much better I think.
This is my favorite line/couplet.
"Now finally you understand,
We'll never be where we began."
Because it holds a truthfulness that everyone can relate to. You can not ever actually return to the beginning agian.
I look forward to reading more from you.
-S-
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