To hold you
Take you by my side
would you run away
If I asked you to stay
If I grabbed you
would you run
If I let you go
Would you ever come back
Feeling the same way
Before you left
Author notes
kevins-girl08
A contest entry
- Incompleted Thoughts (quick and easy contest) by McRae by nature.
700 points, ended November 17, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - how many times can i break till i shatter. by innocence jaded.xx.
900 points, ended December 3, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - New! Truly Original Poetry Wanted :) by Oleander.
540 points, ended December 6, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
If i stink don't be afraid to tell me.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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oooh what a passionate expression of love! thnkyou
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I gotta say I didn't quite get the line "Remaining to stay" It felt like that line was just stuck in there and didn't go anywhere. Maybe you could shed some light on this for me. everything else was great though. keep up the good work
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its a very sweet poem.
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its a very nice poem . very simple but with alot of meaning . easy to read and not very complicated , simple , innocent with the passion welldone ... hope you get a place in the contest . good luck
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hope so too. Good luck too
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P.S. I actually liked the ending better than the beginning. I think it is a strong question that leaves the reader wondering what the answer would be. I really honestly liked the way you ended this.
Carrie -
I really like these lines, it is like a confused mind trying to ponder the well known phrase, "If you love it than let it go, if it loves you it will come back."
Loved the flip flop effect in the questions.
Carrie
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Thanks
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Haha!! yes, the begining was eye catching but you were a bit off at the ending. This doesn't mean your poem wasn't good. It actually holds some deep menaing you just need to run over it once more.
Best of luck
~Noor
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