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an absence of warmth




unable  to  hold
door  swings  open

bluster  of  cold
enters

with  winter  on  its  tail





































A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • Swan song gold member
    December 6, 2008
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    Splendid very nice indeed good luck


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very effective use of metaphor, a chill...


    thanks for entering this here


    al


  • Malabu
    December 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    so short, yet it takes me on the long road of thought... as always, you're amazing
    mal


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you gotta love that this poem had more then one meaning, it is something that doesn't say out loud but just says enough, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • sharptooth
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    simple, but beautiful. especially since it's so realistic. that pretty much sums up my feelings every time i open the door to go outside.


  • charcoal
    November 17, 2008
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    love it (:


  • afroqban
    November 16, 2008

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    now that is a poem! lots of talent to scribe something short and create such a large picture. well done. much love and respect.


  • Death of the Author
    November 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    *repeats the comment below and wishes I'd come up with it first (both the poem and the comment)*


  • Jersene gold member
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    brrr....

    i feel the cold rushing in...so much said with so little. Great penning


  • Victory Gin silver member
    November 14, 2008
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    These short poems are like little threads to wrap our minds around. All kinds of possibility..


  • Cat
    November 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    loved this.
    winter on its tail. love it.

    m


  • just rob gold member
    November 13, 2008
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    So well condensed.

    Damn that door!


    This is just perfect for this contest. You do short so well!


  • Cup-a-Joe
    November 13, 2008
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    oj my

    One word-awesomefriggingpoetry.
    joe


  • Hikari Lady
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Short, yet was enough to make me feel the sadness in it, the loneliness and cold. Best of luck in the conest and in life.

    ~Noor


  • artis
    November 13, 2008

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    Loved this, a tale of woe for all the foreclosed and abandoned homes, or the ghetto shack

    with a rope lock, or the heart of one who has lost love forever. Great write, and the background is perfectly muted much like mine thanks to you, and the font is a fountain of emotion...lol..~~~Artis


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I see what you mean, hmm, less 'is' more.


    All the best hun.

    mj.


  • tara wilson gold member
    November 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply


    love this...


  • Grunts Girl silver member
    November 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i loved the first two lines
    so many things there... not said

1 - 25 of 25