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Encore

-Revised- 

 

"Stuck in the middle
nowhere to go
People everywhere staring at me
stuck here
in a moment in time
Skirt blowing over my head
as the wind swept me into
the laughing crowd"

Like clattering Fall leaves
their laughter rattled
In a head spin 
anxiety grew
While frantic
I raked and tucked my

skirt between my legs

Sigh. . .

In the next moment of
endless time
cornered
like a mouse on stage-
warm cheeks radiating red-
I glanced up at the crowd . . .
gulp. . .then
graciously offered a bow

Inhaling. . .

Awe,

time prolongs

the crowd cheered more and

encore calls
Why,

my heart began to flutter
like spring butterflies


Is this my debue. . .?
A Marilyn Monroe que. . .?

Why not?

So. . .gloriously again

I spun in the wind, but

the laughter. . .

I couldn't hear it at all. . .huh?

Where did every body go?

 

 

-Original-

 

 

"Stuck in the middle
nowhere to go
People everywhere staring at me
stuck here
in a moment in time
Skirt blowing over my head
as the wind swept me into
the laughing crowd"

Like clattering Fall leaves
their laughter rattled as
I desparately raked my skirt
between my legs
Then. . .
in the next moment in time
like a cornered mouse on stage-
warm cheeks radiating red-
I glanced up at the crowd . . .then
graciously offered a bow

 

 

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Janice M Pickett
    November 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hehehehehehheeheheheheh EXCELLENT. Thanks.


  • Gordon
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I can honestly say that has never happened to me! Sometimes the only thing you can do is take a bow.


  • Hikari Lady
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was funny but still one could look at it from some other sides would see a deep meaning. Sometimes we get naked and out faults are showed to the world, we become embarrased yet, we move on covering them again bowing our head to society even though it's the reason of our faults.
    I enjoyed this very much, it was funny and meaningful. 8rose*

    ~Noor

  • Janice M Pickett
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    LOL this is so funny. THANK YOU. Yes thats's me alright. LOL
    I did ask for 4 more verses minimum though. But as this is so complete in its humour, I shall blink and prented there is four more. It would be nice if you made it longer though as the judging will be accorging to the requirements.


    • Mary O gold member
      November 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Just revised it again. Added one more verse. I think I'm finished


    • Mary O gold member
      November 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I've made a second attempt. Hope this works. Let me know,
      ~Mary O


  • smiley
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    too cute

    I wouldn't change a thing.. I love it just the way it is.

    Yvonne

1 - 7 of 7