Can you see my mortal sons?
hate their brothers their red blood runs.
Ignoring their fellow mans starvation
war, sickness and deprivation.
The earth sheds tears of crimson red,
as mothers and widows bury their dead.
The baby cries with no releif,
the nations anguished filled with grief.
The work of my hands they destroy and kill,
then they say they're doing my will.
Alas they do it not for me,
for I created all men free.
The gift of love I did bestow,
in mortal hearts for them to know.
love and respect for one another
love for their family and their brother.
A contest entry
- Omni-potent by Envelope.
1800 points, ended November 28, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What would you do if you were God?
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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A poignant and sad poem the tell of so much wasted life and needless tears.
So beautifully said and lovingly composed.
While man is man the sons of weeping mothers will march off to gather glory by exterminating other men. While mourning fathers kneel and pray at their loss, they will look at their life and regret that they cannot join the fray. Weeping mothers hold their sons as they tell of their father who died a hero. Then wonder why that son cannot wait to be a hero too.
The god of war does sound his trumpet to the sound of marching boots
Thus no one hears the sound of tears falling from red rimmed eyes
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Hmmm...
I do like this peice.
Its as if ur seeing the world through new eyes, though people chose to see whats before them, this sees more.
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Thank you for taking the time to read and leave a kind comment ... much appreciated.
Sometimes people only see with their physical eyes like you said.
It's always benficial to look for reasons and the root cause to what we see and to analyse it with the eyes of understanding and knowledge don't you think?
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very strong and true message
stunning and powerful
I love it
God bless you my friend...
a billion
for you
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Thank you very much for you much appreciated upbuilding comment Pisces rainbow ... I have only just seen it now so apologies for not replying sooner ... thank you so much .
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Nice Thoughts
War by neither man nor beast could never be so grueling as the war we face with our own ruling. It would be so wonderful if we could have no more war, unfortunately there has been war since Cain and Able. So as long as we are in this lifetime, it seems there will be war and turmoil. It may not be right, but it IS reality. Until the final war, Satan will be our enemy, and we will be at war. Then your last verse will be a reality. Your very well written poem brings out the ravages of that continuous raging war so well. I sensed a lot of feeling and hurt in your writing. Well done my dear friend.
Bless you Caroline,
Ron
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Nice to see you Ron I hope you are well and life is good for you. Thank you for calling by and taking the time to leave a nice comment.
Yes it will be oh so good when people learn to show love and respect towards eachother then the world will know peace and the real life.
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I found this poem very thought provoking. I didn't agree with some of the comments below. I liked the last two verses best and thought they sounded very professional.
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Thank you netdolman for taking the time to read and leave an encouraging and upbuilding comment thankyou ...
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Well Done
I like the way you expelled yourself into your writing.
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Thank you for your encouragement loche.
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No problem
It was well deserved.
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Beautiful and thought provoking , it forces the reader to contemplate their actions!!!
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Thank you for your kind and encouraging words.
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This is very very good!! You are extremely talented. Your words flow with such an ease and yet, tells a story of truth and boldness. Excellent write!!
TD
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Just to let you know teardrop I saw your name and I am thinking of you and I hope things are going well for you ... you are in my thoughts.
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Thank you teardrop for your encouraging comment on my poem ... sorry I missed your comment somehow when you replied. Thank you.
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Nice job on this my dear, thought you expressed yourself very well, and spoke from the heart. Heres to a happy future, soon!!
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The Message that is written here feels like it is from a heart that holds grief and pain for those who have lost their lives senselessly. I feel that anguish as well. I lost my brother to street violence. I was 25 and he was 24. I still suffer the pain of that loss and know, as you so boldly and eloquently state, that life is simply about...
"love and respect for one another"
We often fall short in this area. Very well penned.
Much Love ♥
Renee
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Dearest Renee, thank you so much for taking the time to read and leave a comment. I am so sorry about the death of your beloved brother due to street violence...I feel so sad for you...it is so heartbreaking
As a mother I lost my eldest daughter aged 26 in 1992 to Cancer, like you I have been touched by death way too many times. I have drawn comfort from this scripture that I would like to share with you to encourage you as I too have been encouraged by it.
It can be found at Revelation 21:4,5.
4 He will wipe out every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.
5 He who was seated on the throne said "I am making everything new!" Then he said "Write for these words are faithfull and true."
I drew comfort from these scriptures in the promise from God that we will have our loved ones back again in perfect health and be able to hold and cuddle them again, as you as well as I know Gods will...will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Love and kind thought towards you and yours,
Caz [Caroline]
otherwise,
Lady Mak
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Nice imagery in this piece... I think you did a great job. Could use a little proofing and grammer editing, but that doesn't distract from the message or spirit of the piece. I enjoy your writings! :-)
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Thank you for your encouraging comment. I wish I had paid more attention when i was at school, although I liked english and did my best. I think the flaw was in my learning capabilities...I am aware that I am not an actual poet, and stand in awe of many of the writes I read in All Poetry, but I love to try, and that is all I can do, try my best.
I am really glad that you enjoyed the content and message of my write, as war is so heartbreaking to all who it touches. I do appreciate your kind comment and constructive criticiscm, thankyou.
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Don't be silly, of course you are a poet! Just because someone can write something in the right meter with perfect grammar doesn't mean they are a poet at heart. :-) Anyone can benefit from a little proofing and editing, me most of all, so don't take that comment too seriously. I do enjoy your writings very much, and appreciate that you never back down from your beliefs. Blessings! I hope you are enjoying this Christmas season :-)
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and big
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this fell short of the quality of some of the other entires, the rhyme was kinda bland, and I wasn't too thrileld with the overdone message being sent forth here, not to say it was a bad write, just a bad entry for this contest
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Thank you for taking the time to leave your honest opinion which is appreciated .
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i'll be so glad when the new system comes and gets rid of all this badness and chaos!
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Hallo bannanafoster, thank you for calling by and leaving a comment...yes God will put all things right at his appointed time, then we can live the real life..the best is yet to come
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Oh So Sad But True
This is an excellent poem but a very sad one at that. God is and has all power and it was meant for love!!! We are all Mortal that is for sure. Excellent rhyme with rhythm and flow. The imagery is great as well. Best wishes in the contest my dear sweet sister in Christ..
Blessings,
Much Love,
Kelle Marie
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Thank you for taking the time to read and leave an encourageing comment dearest Kelle Marie...hope you are well dearest sister in Christ Jesus
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SINCERE AND TRUE
So many time in our history has man fought and killed for religion, even now to this day they do all over the world.'s
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That is so true dear Kevin..will mankind ever learn from their mistakes...thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
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Ahh!! I can relate to this in my country's situation (Iraq) and what you stated in this poem was so true and touched me deeply. I wish the pain ends soon.
I'm glad I came across your poem today, got to bookmarke it so I can read it more often, it was so inspiring.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
~Noor
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Thank you for taking the time to leave a very kind and encouraging comment.
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