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Shambles

Missing image
Past crumbles behind me
overgrown with lies,
hidden in thorns
that ripped my life into ruins.

A shell remains
still standing,
open scars visible to all.

Secluded and alone,
I fall to pieces
surrounded by betrayals;
tangled weeds woven with pain
run wild, overgrown,
freely watered with tears.

A solitary shambles of desolation
draws looks from the lost,
who have wandered here
in their own confusion.

Author notes

please credit the picture. Do_You_Seek_the_Castle__by_RedAnalysis

just thoughts

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • Angelflower
    December 3, 2008

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    Beautiful and emotional. I love how this played out. How it grabbed the reader and tugged on heartstrings. you did such a wonderful job with this prompt. thank you very much for sharing. best of luck in the contest.

    Angel


    • aboomer silver member
      December 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much 'Angelflower' - glad you enjoyed this. I'm really not sure where these thoughts even came from....lol.....inspiring picture, I guess.
      Thank you so much for the Bronze!


  • storiesuntold gold member
    November 29, 2008

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    So true

    We as human beings so feels the spritites of others alive and we unknowingly embrace one anothers fears unknowingly by a single glance but havent yet learned how to face them thus we walk on by leaving the down in heart still to walk alone . Reach out and find the joys within our own grasp

    • aboomer silver member
      November 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you 'stories' for your lovely comment. I'm glad you enjoyed this.


  • DolceVito gold member
    November 28, 2008

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    Extraodinary write, enjoyable read, excellent take on the prompt.


    • aboomer silver member
      November 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much 'DolceVito' for reading and your lovely comment. I am pleased you liked my thoughts.


  • penman gold member
    November 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Very creative and so well expressed. Best of luck in the contest.

    • aboomer silver member
      November 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you 'penman' - glad you enjoyed this.

  • mountain-woman
    November 20, 2008

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    Excellent

    Ohhh I like the way you took this prompt and went with it. So emotional and I can relate to it so well. All the best in the contest, Michele

    • aboomer silver member
      November 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much 'mountain-woman' - I am glad you liked this.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent! A dark take on the picture! Wonderfully done and the metaphor in this is prefectly constructed!


  • Fritz O skennick gold member
    November 14, 2008

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    Love this...

    Fantastic work...
    Great metaphor & wordplay/choice/use, flows wonderfully with a dark sad undertone that was simply compelling...
    Well done!!!

    • aboomer silver member
      November 14, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much 'Fritz..' - I'm pleased you liked this 'dark' take.


  • LadyDementia gold member
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! Love how you did this, your take on the picture is awesome! Such sadness carried within each word, yet beautifully penned. Has to be my new fave from you A stunning read, good luck in the contest


    • aboomer silver member
      November 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you LadyD - glad you really liked this.
      I hadn't planned on 'dark' - just kind of came out that way....lol


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    nice take on the picture, love this sad but well depicted poem, good luck in this contest also
    Linda

  • Kari gold member
    November 13, 2008

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    This is so very deep and speaks straight to the heart. You've done wonderful with that picture there and gave it justice.

    • aboomer silver member
      November 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much 'Hekate' - glad you enjoyed this.
      (I LOVE your avatar!!!)


  • SummerlandRayne gold member
    November 13, 2008

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    I adore this! I feel every word and each emotion deeply my friend! I love the background and font colors you chose to compliment this lovely pic. This is just plain amazing!!!


    Az


    • aboomer silver member
      November 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Az - glad you liked this.
      I 'wanted' a nice, nature-type, old castle, write....lol....."this" is what I got!
      so glad you enjoyed this.


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    November 13, 2008

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    wow, this is incredible.. the 3rd and 4th stanzas were my favorite ones.. the imagery is fantastic, with a dark overtone... excellent job with both your poem & this prompt

    good luck
    kat


    • aboomer silver member
      November 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks kat - glad you liked this.
      I wanted a nice nature-type, castle in the wilderness write....lol....this is what my thoughts sent instead...

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh Yeah I like this oh the third and fourth stanzas are amazing thanks for sharing good luck in the contest be well

1 - 26 of 26