this ring on my hand;
brings me full circle
i have rubbed noses with a …lily
and over the years,
i have watched her hair turn silver,
bones became brittle
still… it’s spring
though she sleeps,
with frost covered eyes
Author notes
option 1 Journey...
A contest entry
- first frost by AJ Morelli.
2700 points, ended December 7, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #52 Options Contest (: by Walk-Free.
550 points, ended June 26, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Very nice Poet
This is a fine write. You don't give pictures as much as portraits well painted over time.
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a very delightable read.
so rich with imagery that's laced with metaphors.
great job
i really like this 
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thank you for commenting and for hosting
Mal
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Flexably spoken voice
The personality of this poem shows discretion, you haven't run through things carelessly, catching the enjoyable learned moments from history for future. Couplet one even had me wonder if you're writing about your mamma, how often the offspring take the parents' characteristics into note at the epoch for mates... but also complete strength is implied.
Such elegance in, "i have rubbed noses with a …lily," a snippet of the innervation in favorite memories together, implying sweetness. Your imagery shows intense closeness, noticing continual fading, not just picking up aging jaggedly by rare visits.
After feeling all this, the ending is so sensible that you can't engage in her life with many a etch - then drop it. Early spring too can inquire light snow. Pain has ice, though reasoning on a resurrection hope melts in time while clearing your smile and picture.
"spring" and "lily" have nice similarity too,
Daisy -
wow
a portrait of still life
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this is very nice, fine job
thanks so much for the entry
al -
super good imagery.
Well done.
Joe
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How beautiful and wonderful your metaphor is...truly a wonderful work of art...
a pleasure.
best to you.
mystic
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very well done, Mally.
Love, Lane
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no hug? lol...well here's one for you
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"I have rubbed noses with a lily" "with frost covered eyes" love the imagery in this piece very delicate and perfect in words
~
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gee thank you for stopping by...and for your comment
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i was able to take this in many different directions (maybe im really emotional today). i love this write, well done. much love and respect.
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when i write i try to touch the emotions of all who read my thoughts...thank you for the compliment...
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I love the last 3 lines, awesome.
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thank you for your thoughtfulness
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This is wonderful, I love this kind of poems they make love seem eternal and forever going. Best of luck in the contest. This should be a winner for it flows so well.
~Noor
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thank you for reading and comment
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love the sentiment and the his&her-story in this. big hug
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me too ...
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what a truly loving write
still... its spring
in the eyes of the beholder
Gorgeous
God bless you my friend...
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big hug for you
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"rubbed nose with a lily" - I love that. a gentle time-line of remembrance here, Mal
~ Nicolette
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thank you nikki...for always reading my poems
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