My presence inside,
arises internal fear.
forcing myself outward,
that soul to sear.
remaining unknown,
it is me inside.
taking her down,
and forcing suicide.
there is always fear
trembling at least!
i deserve this,
a mark of the beast.
I know u see me in your eyes,
yet you look away;
whats the matter little one?
afraid i want to play?
too scared of your self,
can't look at your eyes;
it is not you that you see,
but my web of lies.
on this goes pathetically
not attempting to stop me
where is he gone?
the one who came before me?
He left something here,
a remnant of your past.
how sweet of him,
to think that you would last.
i warn you child,
of this darkness i sew;
that dim light you see?
i will quickly outgrow.
What will it be?
Him or me?'
your decision cannot wait
time to choose your fate.
Author notes
Option :
4, Write about the two sides of yourself- the 'devil' side and the 'angel' side...
and
5, Write about where you're going... Heaven or Hell...???!!
( sorry i kind of did a combination of those options, i wrote about my devil side, or rather the devil inside and where that would inevitably take me.)
Aside from the competition notes i wanted to explain this poem a little, and i think i want to revise it a little too if one day my brain is at a higher functioning level! hehe.
I wrote this from the 'devil inside''s point of view, there is reference to God dwelling in 'me' once upon a time, and now she must decide what she will do.
i don't do will with prompts unless its something i know about. so i know about this a bit, why not!?
A contest entry
- Angels/Devils..... by Walking Oxymoron.
700 points, ended November 16, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you thought please, all feedback welcome!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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flows well
very interesting poem. The flow is great and the image you create is also very vivid.
I love the use of your varied vocab.
Good Job
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You seem to have misunderstood the subject of the "Celebrating Poetry and Poets" competition - or else you have somehow entered this poem in the wrong competition. For I cannot see anything in it relevant to Poetry OR poets. I wish you luck with it - but as far as this competition is concerned, all that I can say is "NO".
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haha! well yes i did enter it into the wrong one! haha. sorry about that. if i can figure out how to remove it i will do so! thanks for the heads up.
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too scared of your self,
can't look at your eyes;
it is not you that you see,
but my web of lies.
I love that stanza, and what you did with the two options there.
Excellent write. -
I know u see me in your eyes,
yet you look away;
whats the matter little one?
afraid i want to play? <<< very devious and almost evil, this was such an enticing question yet it was dripping in contempt, i thought this was one of my fave lines out of all your work
pure genius
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