Feel buzz of voices
corners in shadows
joined together
in bitter memories of
frozen moments.
In an iceberg perennial
a strange cold penetrated
as new born thorn infinite
while in my void abyss
first time frosted roses
await into oblivion.
Author notes
~spiritualangel~
Prompt: First Frost
40 words
A contest entry
- first frost by AJ Morelli.
2700 points, ended December 7, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
i really like the line "as new born thorn infinite"... my void abyss is redundant and i think there is a bit to much melodrama here for me... i would tone down the overly "poetic" elements and find something closer to your natural voice, there are so many nice images here and they could be put to better use i think
thanks so much for the entry
al -
an icy poem for sure, it sinks to a depth of emotion in an ocean blue where only the tip of an iceberg has freedom to smile for the sun
-
beautiful take on the prompt...love the first stanza...has great imagery
-
In an iceberg perennial
a strange cold penetrated
as new born thorn infinite
i had to really think about this for a moment. took my mind to so many places. well done write. much love.
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