The greenest blade of grass
perished from the flake
of an aging cloud.
Most arrogant
of erect posture,
stilled
in mutability.
The chill of change
ripples death across
scenic boast;
blanketed with repetitive
purity, of new life.
A contest entry
- first frost by AJ Morelli.
2700 points, ended December 7, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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i like what you have penned here
especially;
The greenest blade of grass
perished from the flake
of an aging cloud.
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i like the chances you take here, moving dramatically from image to image
very nice work
al -
Good stuff.
The first three lines hooked me. With the alliteration, it is a fun read aloud.
Peace...
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love the last stanza...beautiful
Good luck inthe contest
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thanks a lot for the nice comment. much love and respect to you
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draws mind at different rates
the general scientific title has a jolt of couplet beginning this, reinforcing how the concept can get detailed.
the third line moved into an impending paradox almost. there's no automatic weakness but what is fitting from what it becomes if not resuming. thus my favorite line was "scenic boast" which implies gorgeous but also caution it could go away if it doesn't truly have the benefitting range of endurance... but there's an ambience exemplified for that in parts.
nice to stay attached through slide show per se; composition should and did have my attention
called Carolyn -
the chill of change...
i liked this part the most!
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Nice imagery. Good ending.
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Glad to see you entered AJ's contest.
The brevity is perfect, the imagery is
superb. I wish you all the best, Poet.
Love, Lane
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thanks Lane. much love and respect
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''The chill of change
ripples death across
scenic boast;''
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thanks for checkin it out. much love and respect
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wow
this is beautiful. it makes me still my breathe. i think each stanza is its own indiviudal statment yet it completes itself as a whole.
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thanks a lot for checking this and. im glad u liked it. much love and respect
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