A pastiche of dreams
when time folded night upon
day, and angels
hidden in red satin folds
saw the weight of worry, that it was light;
and darkness was sublime
when time folded evening upon dawn
for the silence of moonlight
hushed the roar of the sun,
so quiet the doves pointed peace
to the east and west.
The thoughtful climb from sleep to wake
left a crease in the veil between
the imagined and the real, until we
simply ask for witnesses, to the answer
and sworn hands to the question...
when sanity is a borrowed book
from a library gone away; the return
is long past due, and there is
so very much... to pay.
Author notes
PK
A contest entry
- November Rounds #2 by CitrineSunrise.
700 points, ended December 11, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
Security in the vision... and the great cost of such a vision... what a remarkable truth you have penned. I love the gentleness of this, soothing like the vision. And then at the end the more stark tone really packs the necessary punch. Beautifully done.
ten
-
I am so very glad that I re-read this poem. It flowed off the mind, creating etches in the heart. The symbolic introductions cause a wondering mind - soft, yet 'so very much ... to pay'. Beautiful. Frans


-
This poem starts out gently and moves to a dramatic climax, a feature that is common in your moving poems. This poem is filled with accessible yet thought-provoking images and you always find new and interesting metaphors to explain the everyday world. Thank you for your entry. Peace, Liz
-
These well versed expressive lines,"from sleep to wake
Left a crease in the veil between
The imagined and the real, ." Encapsulate the realm of madness so well.This well rounded piece takes the readers mind on deep journey from inception to perceived ending.

-
The first two sections are crammed with very tactile images. Suddenly the poem begins to transform into something different, developing unexpectedly in a strange direction...


-
I am silent.
Your last stanza hit like a ton of bricks pulling everything before it into the final lump that still sits in my throat, eyes welling with the truth of it.
Moving very very moving my friend. Excellent poetry here - as was to be expected. ~Pamela


-
"when sanity is a borrowed book" and each one that reads that book has a different idea of what sanity is. I liked it how you show the two sides (or one side seeing in different ways) of in-sanity.
Well done!


-
What an excellent poem you have composed...it's surely winner.....
novy


-
This poem unfolds so quietly to reveal a depth of thought... this is one of those that linger in the eyes and the mind...
~ Nicolette


-
There is a certain sense of peace that is found in those in-between places. You have penned an amazing write by weaving that peace into the words and the space on the page.
Wonderful work!
Marianne


-
Your thoughts put to words here, are amazing..The title Visionary caught my eye..You have profoundly described a visionary view of values of the spiritual, heaven and earthly realms and made us come to a sense of peace as you close, having accomplished which you wished to do....Made us think and say ah...He has achieved his purpose!


1 - 11 of 11












