I look at you
From where I lay.
Thinking back
From start of day.
Is this how
It should end?
I trusted you
And called you friend.
My life ahead,
Mistakes behind,
Relationships
Tow the line.
It seemed so good.
At least surreal.
Not what you do
But what you feel.
Now here I lay,
My back is broke.
You'll teach me to dance!
What a joke...
Author notes
I like my poems with a twist at the end.
A contest entry
- Beauty, Tragedy, Etcetera by MessedupMarionette.
700 points, ended November 17, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
Nice work
Different! But good , it doe's have that twist at the end. Did you write this one from thought on the contest or from your feelings?
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I like most of this, but a few of the rhymes seem kind of forced. It's quite difficult to make rhyme sound natural, but this is pretty good overall. Thanks for entering.
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hmm
ah you must dance again
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