sinuous serpents surmount my snout,
smoke snakes visiting voluminously.
around the watchtower heights, the stars
burn in bone-fires,
spark-dancing,
romancing the broken dead earth.
against the knife striding forth,
broken like a heady rush of wine against the forehead,
stricken into solitude,
bemoaning your fate with impossible whinging noises,
unbearable!
watch the watch-eye,
sinking over the horizon.
the horticultural horrors descended abruptly,
throwing everything into chaos,
of the empty
sort.
what kind of glass
transmutes into opal
after prolonged touch
of shed smoke scales?
walking along the black shore,
the thought occurs to one
that one didn't have enough for breakfast
before confronting
an oil lake burning merrily beneath the fog.
my dog
is obsessed
with the shadowy space
beneath the sink.
A contest entry
- STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS: by exceptforthis.
550 points, ended November 23, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - pif/round contest part one - prewrite's by serenity silvermoon.
800 points, ended July 10, 565 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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wow, there are some lines of just pure brilliance:
what kind of glass
transmutes into opal
after prolonged touch
of shed smoke scales?
the stars
burn in bone-fires,
spark-dancing,
romancing the broken dead earth.
my dog
is obsessed
with the shadowy space
beneath the sink.
I think those three lines are golden. Some of the alliteration seems a bit excessive, mostly because i don't know what you used it for, although i can see how it helps with the flow of the poem. i can tell you have talent and it shows from some of your wonderful images. thanks for you contribution!
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I tend to free-write. It's just how it happened to come out this time. It felt right so I went with it.
Thank you.
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