Kill Yourself Again

Your tired eyes I wish to blind
Your weary bones I wish to grind
Your bottles of vodka I wish to drown you in
Your razor blades I wish to shred you with
Your noose I wish to twist around your throat
Your nails I wish to rip off with pliers

I want your tear’s to fall
I want your lips to quiver
I want your voice to scream
I want your dumb self to beg for my mercy
I want your eye’s to show remorse for what you did, to us
I want you to wither in pain like me

You ripped apart this family
We had been so close
Mother and father had loved us so much
How could you have not seen that?
Did you think of what would happen to me?
When you were scratching your arms
Digging razor blades into your thighs
Did you think of how the parents would blame me for not seeing?
When you’re tired eyes tried every time to smash into that lonely pole
Wearing yourself out everyday
Did you notice how far we grew apart?
When you slipped the vodka into your orange juice
Your rope strung from the banister

So many times you had attempted suicide
But it was the last time that I wish you wouldn’t have failed at
I wish you had succeeded
Now mother and father hate me
They don’t know what to do with you
They blame me for letting you do this to yourself
How can they not understand they were right there along with me?
I had no clue what you were doing to yourself
But I know what you were doing to me

You selfish bitch
I hope you suffer
My hatred for you boils
Just kill yourself already, so I can go back to my old life
Being happy, suicide is your only option
Before I become a murderer