And as their world fell apart,
He slit his wrist, watched it flow,
Fell freely into the darkness,
As the shadows cleared, she awoke,
To see him laying beside her,
Smiling, he spoke;
"Not even death will seperate us..."
Author notes
Guess this would be an ending...
I've always wanted to expand this but haven't been able to think of anything that I really liked...
A contest entry
- Incompleted Thoughts (quick and easy contest) by McRae by nature.
700 points, ended November 17, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Hmmm I like this as it is true in ways when you think about it but if you do expand it I would like to see what you come up with as this could be an amazing write has the start of it but like your self It just needs something more maybe how there world fell apart that drove them to there end? Just a thought. Great write anyway my friend.
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Thank you ^^
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This is great! umm...wow!
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Wow
You're in a depressed mood lately, eh?
Or are all your poems based on this? I don't know. I like it though. You've done wonderfully on it.
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Haha well actually all my poems are kinda like this ^^
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It is so Romeo and Juliet. I love it. I could see a story folded out before these lines. It is a perfect ending. Hope you can eventually make it work in a poem.
Carrie
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I hope so too. Thanks
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Sorta sounds like an abstract Romeo and Juliet.
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Hey it does too ^^.... Thanks for reading
~lub lae
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Love it. I like the mystery of the story behind the misery, as well as the love.
The last line is a great ending.
Great write. Good luck in the contest. -
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Thanks for reading and commenting...
~lae
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