Paper Machete Hearts

All these bits of paper falling

around my heart like a shooting

star that has begun to break apart

like all those little words of encouragement

that never mean any thing, I feel this has

all been just a make-believe-fairy-tale, that

was never meant to come true

Author notes

paper

A contest entry

I'm Goin' on a Muse Hunt by x-sweet-sunshine-x. 400 points, ended November 30, 2008, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

Please tell me what you think

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

By me, right now

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Uniquely-Scarred
February 10
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this is good, i like the shooting star, congrats on gold
Umi Juvariel
January 19
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Interesting. I hope this isn't your best though. The lines felt very forced, pushed together in odd places. I liked this poem, don't get me wrong, I am not bashing it. I just feel like it could have become so much more. Thank you for entering and good luck in my contest.
Kathraina
December 31, 2008
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Marvelous!
Great, wonderful piece! I enjoyed it mucho! Absolutley LOVE the title! Bravo!
x-sweet-sunshine-x
November 30, 2008

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Nice job! The interpretation of the prompt was great - I never would have thought of it like that. I didn't understand the rhythm very well, but I think the imagery was really good!

Good luck, and thanks for entering!
my02U
November 19, 2008

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This is a sad, beautiful poem... i really enjoyed reading it! in the third line, however, i think "fall" should be changed to "break"; although it does create a rather different image, you used a form of the word too much too close together. i am very ocd about that - i believe that if you overuse words in poetry they lose their weight and value. my opinion, don't be offended!

Great job, and I love love love the title!!!

Good luck in the contest!

Luv,
Lovey
Scyphon
November 12, 2008

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Very interesting take on the prompt paper... It does seem some fairy tales do become reality, while many will not. Its a shame to be in one that fades to unrealistic eternity. great poem