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Keyblade

I'm lying here
Surrounded by my past regrets
The floor is my sanctuary
My new-found home

The doors are closing
I'm locked inside myself
Never to return

Only you can help me
You who holds my heart
Shares my pain
Knows were I am

I'm fading, the curtains are closing
Find the key,
Unlock the door
Enter into my heart
Save me from myself.

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • MessedupMarionette
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    First thing is: "surrounding by my past regrets"... I don't think that's how you meant it to come out Also, the lines "never to return/unless you can find the key" just sound kind of awkward to me... they seem kind of contradictory---perhaps try "helpless to return" or something...?

    I like this poem, though. It's very relate-able but still really emotional. Thanks for the entry, and it's a good write!