If your ultimate goal is a poetry prize,
there are things you must do without compromise.
I had entered some work at considerable cost,
with no clue at all as to why I had lost.
So, I read all the ones recognized in the past,
seeking form and design for words I could cast.
That’s when I discovered a key to their prose;
illogical thoughts in unorganized rows.
Start with an outlandish, irrelevant line,
then something arbitrary to confuse the design.
Like, “In the beginning the ending was near”
or, “We basked in an ardent recollection of fear.”
Conclude with some incomprehensible phrase,
like, “The prolific embrace of our foregone days.”
Don’t finish ideas in these literary events,
and avoid any phrases that seem to make sense.
What they don’t understand, becomes a “deep thought.”
In depth they will ponder what meaning you sought.
They'll scoff if you've written a limerick or rhyme,
then cast it aside as a “waste of their time.”
I'll likely be banned, or be forced to concede,
but I'm sharing the secret it takes to succeed;
don't stress over structure, don’t fret about flow,
use thoughts you don’t have and words you don’t know.
Author notes
What poetry "form" am I teaching here? The form that wins contests... the unin"form"ed style, take it to the bank... I wrote this after reading a $20,000 prize winning poem about brass braziers (seriously). Now you know how to write a priize winning poem. Kevin Pace WordsDoMatter
In a list
- Humorous story Poems • next in list
- Stories About Writing • next in list
- Bronze Medal Winners • next in list
A contest entry
- Make me Roll with Laughter PLEASE by Lady-Pegasus.
1200 points, ended December 4, 2008, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I can't believe I'm doing this again Part Deux by NoUseForAName.
700 points, ended December 31, 2008, 25 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Humorous Poetry by FloridaGatorQueen.
525 points, ended December 17, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lost in Space by Butterfly24.
400 points, ended December 30, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - lessons worth gold by solitarytear.
700 points, ended January 27, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - COME ONE! COME ALL! QUICKY FOR 200 PEOPLE! by Umi Juvariel.
800 points, ended January 21, 53 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1014 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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kudos
you didnt have to tell everyone lol jk
lovely write. great to read.
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Wow, you're good...I 'see' your book already-this is my email www.patsyrose@gmail.com-keep me posted
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LOL, I will admit that I enjoyed reading this one -
Particularly as it's so true, being the judge of such a large competition, I've found that I've come across some poems, which, to me, [a person who likes 'easy reading' poetry], neither make sense nor - do I really understand the attractiveness and yet they'll have won loads of trophies
Seems you might have penned a classic here!
Thanks for entering
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Beautifully written and very true. Creative and informative as well. I especially loved the flow of the poem. I have grasped some tips I never thought of before. This was well put.
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glad I could help
now go make some money - lol - Kevin
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It's sadly true, no one judges on the feeling and emotion put into poetry, they grade on how confusing and metaphorical it is, poems that dont mean anything get the prize, i use feeling and passion along with writing tools
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I'm not sure
what I use... I just call em like I see em. I know nothing of style, form, symbolism.... I just know what I like... thanks for reading - Kevin
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oh... Brass Braziers...yes, well no wonder we would all lose who could possibly measure up to that!
...well done, enjoyed ... PK
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exactly
oh well, at least you didn't write it, that would be awkward (but you probably would laugh all the way to the bank) - Kevin
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this is almost too funny but it isn't because it is sadly true. thank you for speaking up. good luck in the future. and who would have thought to write about brass bras? hmmmm? viyanna rosemarie
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exactly
it was probably a metaphore for something else... or maybe that's what they were trying to get me to think.... who knows... I'm pretty much a straight shooter, what you see is what you get - Kevin
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Great fun!
Aha! Maybe this is why my poem The Sky is Falling won gold! XD Thanks for the very educational write, and the laugh! Congratulations on the shiny trophy!
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Haha! This was so funny. I enjoyed it. I believe this poem is utterly correct. Sometimes I wonder if most poems win out of pity? Anyway, excellent write and good luck in my contest!
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Makes sense to me. 'use thoughts you don’t have and words you don’t know.' Really good way to end it. I'm trying to decide that I want to write a poem now (failing), so I'll say no more.
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very good
To me a poem should rhyme,If not its a short story.Opinions are like butt holes,everybodies got one.
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ain't that the truth
seems everyone has their own definition of "poetry" - thanks my friend - Kevin
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haha, this is wonderfull and so true what we consider "deep" and "beuatifull" is just talkin a load of crap really, thinking that it takes high intelligence and talent to write, when it doesn't really, most of my pieces are like that, and i know for a fact it can takes about 3 minutes t write, and almost no thought into it.
wonderfull piece
thanks for entering and good luck
xx
=] -
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thanks
this was a fun piece to write - Kevin
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Brilliant!
I wholeheartedly agree.
I'm amazed that I haven't been banned from this site yet (though I've come pretty close), as I detest abstract free verse with consummate passion!
Also, my gast has never been so flabbered that you didn't win gold with this effort ; I've just read the winner's pathetic (IMO) effort about the remote control.
This is a good example of why I consistently refuse to enter competitions. I intend to be the best poet on this site with ZERO silly trophies!
Incidentally, I had a little tiff with a jumped-up bible-bashing prick called Arkbear who 'blocked' and 'ignored' me.
Just before he did, he sent me a message like this "You've been a member here since 2004, and you haven't yet won ONE SINGLE trophy, and you have the gall to criticise my poetry?"
Nuff said!
Have 3 bananas.
Robin.
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I am honored
Thank you for your insights. Being new here, I just assumed everyone did the "contest" thing. It is good to know otherwise. Do you get a lot of reviews? Any real critiques? Do you promote your work? I'm pretty green, but eager to improve. I only do rhyming, you'll be glad to hear. Tried the other stuff, can't do it. Thanks for your kind words - Kevin
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Great stuff!!!
Fun, funny & true...
Great flowing narrative with a tight rhyme scheme in a flawfless rhythm...
So true in its sentiment & indeed have been a little guilty of that myself in freeverse... lol!
Keep up the good work...
Well done!!!
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thanks
I have had a lot of fun with this one... and I still get sick when I read that $20,000 prize winning poem. (hope you didn't write it) thanks - Kevin
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Well, in a sense dear poet, you've described freeverse, the absence of form leaving thoughts and words unknown. I love writing freeverse, no rules or structure, just me and my thoughtless words, I can carry them yonder. Wonderful!
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LMBO This is so true though. That is what made me laugh. I liked the way you ended it. I enjoyed the read!!! Thank you for entering my contest
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thanks
you liked this??? you should have seen the $20,000 winning poem, it would make you get sick, not laugh. thanks for your review.- Kevin
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Congratulations on winning the silver with this wonderful poem!!! I love the humor in your words and the funny thing is that your right. Good luck in the other contests as well.
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thanks again
I still have to laugh at this one - I pull out that $20,000 poem quite often (to everyone's amazement that it won) then I show them this - Kevin
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Ha Ha!! a great write, certainly brought some smiles.
A poem I clearly comprehend!
Well done.
Congratulations on the silver.
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thanks
oh no, "clearly comprehend"? That's like a dagger to a poem... at least in some eyes. I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was a very fun piece to write. Which by the way, I wrote after reading a $20,000 prize winning poem about "brass braziers" which I'm sure was some deep thought (lol). Take care - Kevin -
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strong
i like your attack on nonsense. nonsense truly is not the window to clarity.i am equally frustrated by prize winning poets who combine the forementioned with the overstated.
you are a strong writer. i hope you win the $20,000 next time around.
cheers mate,
kevin o'connor/ui'connabhair -
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thanks
not likely to happen (mine all make sense... at least I think they do)... but thanks - Kevin
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Hear hear! A credo for poetry sites everywhere. If it sounds like an egghead wrote it, it must be brilliant. Yes, rhyme is so cliche and form poetry is only appreciated by dead people. Poetry's essence isn't the dark line of definition, but the nebulous aura of "isn't" which surrounds and obfuscates that line. Yes, I think I'm getting the hang of it
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Thanks
you, my friend, have a very unique way with words. I love your take on this. - Kevin
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he he he
So funny and yet so true. In my opinion anyway. This got a good laugh from me! Wonderful form and rhyme. Your punctuation and grammar is impeccable !
I loved this write and loved the wit! Reminded me to do what it is I love and not worry about anything else.
Thank you for that!
CP
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Thanks
I truly appreciate your comments.... what a wonderful feeling as a writer to be able to make someone laugh, smile, cry, feel... how cool!!! thanks for the positive feedback - Kevin (green newbie, just trying to feel my way aroud )
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Well, this did make me LOL! I'll have to ponder those suggestions, umm??? Quite well-done.
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Definitely agree with you. I feel frustrated when I leave someone to guess at the end of the poem, and I hate using words that people may not understand. Good luck in the contest!
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This is great, and captures my own personal feelings when I read some of the poems I come across. It's either "I'm really slow and dense" or "you strung together words with little meaning or sense, but did it in a way to make it sound fancy." Since I'm not a fan of assuming the former, I tend to assume it is the latter.
Well penned, love the rhyming and flow. Best of luck in the contest
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Thanks
for your kind words... I had fun with this one. - Kevin (green, I don't know what I'm doing, newbie)
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OMGDS - TFF!!
Well, first, thank you for entering my contest, second, thank you for voicing my thoughts about some of the other entries already submitted hehe! Thank you, also for actually following the rules as stated. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors! Lady Pegasus
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Thanks
I appreciate your time in reviewing this, glad you enjoyed it. - Kevin (green newbie, just trying to figure out what I'm doing)
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