Sunset's foredoom tropical islands
of lust, nature enchants Bermuda-
This Chicana divagating sandy shores
in habanero flair-tail skirt aflame
by my erotic sacroiliac.
Femininity, unrestraint jazz
wearing a fragrant gardenia in
my hair; graceful long locks flow
leaving fellows in salacious states
seeking sanctuary between thighs
of soft silky smooth heat.
I sat an sipped chilled Chablis;
then with fedora over his chest
smiling.....I offer salvation to
his sultry expectations;
so diabolical he had no idea.
I was a sweet collation...
allowing his presence to
step into my moonlight of
heated stimulation.
Author notes
Quote: Love making is an art...Unknown
this about role play & foreplay...a lovely part of love making
A contest entry
- Love making ... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
400 points, ended November 26, 2008, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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EXQUISITE
I am short of words.All I can say now is that you have done an excellent job on this piece.Great use of metaphors did help to make this piece lyrical and mystical in tone.The visual and allusions here are great.They really helped the reader to understand the act of lovemaking afresh.WELL DONE
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Good use of sibilance. The lyricism is central to this piece and it sings well as it develops its spell.
You know, I look at feelings and sensations, almost a mystical understanding of my partner so that it feels so intimate that people feel as if they are seeing things forbidden. That, at least, is the reports I get back.
For me, the truly sexy and sensual is in the intimacy created.
This works to a different meter. This is more about sexy as a dare. It plays to the "are you man enough to satisfy me." My response is always "when you grow up enough, come and see me. Till then just know you need refining" Or even worse, "Hmm nice. What do you do for an encore?" I share this because everyone has different buttons and responses once they are pushed. You take your cues from settings and response to stimulus. You do it very well. You know your medium well enough that in the last poem you used all the standards to create something a little different. In this one you take language and use it to substantiate your promise to be more than any one man could deal with. It is delightful.
Love, Tom B.
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Now, this is really romantic and seductive. You do know just how to place a picture in the mind of your reader. So sensuous and intoxicating.
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marvelous foreplay here mrs.e very creative and style and deep passion i see i am up against some of the best in this contest goodness you all are just fabolous good luck in the contest
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This is just wonderful, the imagery is outstanding, forepaly & role play is beautiful part of love making.
This was a pleasure, good luck in the contest
~sugar~
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wonderful imagery & flow, very loving and sensual.
All the best
Emma
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Ah..a perfect immage is sketched here to bring the essence of the love making ..your words are very beautiful...and amazing as well..well done...
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Liked the poem. Good luck in the contest
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Wow --- take me off to those islands! This is just as hot as it is intended to be! Lovely, provocative word choices and descriptions. Well-done. Good luck in the contest.
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Exactly what every holiday abroad should be!
There's a lot of 'tropical' language in here that I don't understand, which is cool, becuase I like learning new words.
This a very sunny piece and I like it a lot.
Nice work! -
Wow! I get excited reading this. Such a beautiful and seductive use of words to create a powerful story line. Smooth and flowing all the way through the mind can't keep up with the words that create the pictures in it.
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