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Instream

I have often in thought on self preserve,
A sort of leaky roof, not sealed or tight.
It may occur to senses swift of nerve
As thoughts as mine, on these muses of light.
Or, has my mind a thrumming vice, nor curve
As light on mirrors, falls infinite, right?
To days of light and dark, tensions will swerve
About the tides, in rain or playing slight.

Yet, dark partakes the drink in golden cups
As sullen strains of vices, reaching thrice
In pulling matter full in view of dice,
So rolled, so rolled, as strong as little mice.
I've seen in flashes,  lightning moving up
As thoughts so plain on fabric walls entice.

Author notes

An unusual rhyme scheme for an Italian Sonnet, I think.
a-b-a-b-a-b-a-b c-d-d-d-c-d
I like the way it sounds.

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • penman gold member
    December 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Great use of rhyme. So very well done. thank you for sharing.


  • Whispers of Hope
    November 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is well written nicely done!

  • Eusebius
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ah, I do like it, this IS certainly a sonnet, however, I don't think you can get away with calling an Italian sonnet...but most deftly and nicely done here.... bravo...


  • GTseng3
    November 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The rhyme scheme is great, but you unfortunately have fallen victim to a flaw that plagued me in a lot of my early poems - you're shoehorning words into the scheme. The first line barely parses at all, and a lot of the wording is extremely awkward. You are to be commended for your use of the rhyme scheme, but work a bit harder on finding words that not only fit, but also flow.


    • Tirrell
      November 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I don't see what you see, but I do feel you are quite wrong in your assessment.


  • Amera gold member
    November 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this and the modified rhyme scheme. The first eight lines read as an English sonnet then you slip into the Petrarchan mode at the volta beginning with the word "yet". This is great stuff!

    Love,
    Amera♥

1 - 6 of 6