Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

79

Omni-present Paradox.

It's time to look beyond the Universe
as love returns as twisted stardust:
heaps of silver shards on a pond
bind my feelings in a spiral halo.

As love returns as twisted stardust,
it stings like the tip of a bee; waterscapes
bind my feelings in a spiral halo,
drowning them with ocean-motion.

It stings like the tip of a bee; waterscapes
flood slate and pearl, swirling tides on landscapes,
drowning them with ocean-motion
like an aurora borealis mixing colors.

Flood slate and pearl, swirling tides on landscapes;
and I will waltz in a tsunami
like an aurora borealis mixing colors.
Relationships are like indecisive waves.

And I will waltz in a tsunami,
breaking perpetual motion like fading memories.
Relationships are like indecisive waves,
spontaneous like geodesic, obtuse angles of life,

breaking perpetual motion like fading memories. 
I move aimlessly and idly without fixed direction -
spontaneous like geodesic, obtuse angles of life,
I'll be in a hurricane, oblivious to my fate; and

I move aimlessly and idly without fixed direction
like a shooting star, wandering oblivion.
I'll be in a hurricane, oblivious to my fate and
shine in destiny's omnipresent paradox

like a shooting star, wandering oblivion.
Heaps of silver shards on a pond
shine in destiny's omnipresent paradox.
It's time to look beyond the Universe. 

What do you think and how may I improve on this piece?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Temptation.
    November 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i did not give you this prompt..... i dont know. if you would like me to give you a prompt you can delete this and reserve a spot. i will dq you if you dont.