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The Hopeless Youth

It was always quite

till the sun

went

d

o

w

n



  H.O.P.E.S. & (D)(R)(E)(A)(M)(S)



were all we had left as we prayed

to the PORCELAIN GOD



Drinking our selves into a

^^^^________COMA


Wondering if we will

make it out

alive



Just another teenage dream

only to wake up

and do it all again.



this (M)indless (S)elf (I)dulgence

we feed off of,

yet we are never full.



We are the...

The Hopeless Youth

Author notes

i wrote this a while back and yes it can also be seen on my other account Beautifully Chaotic. I'm really not one for Dirty.Pretty. so i though, i'd give it a try. enjoy.:

For The Contest:
"evil angels are the best kind"
Usernameatally Gorgeous

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • FluorescentFixation
    April 11

    Edit | Reply
    Hi! So I see you're new to the Dirty Pretty writing style. I absolutely love poems written with DP. One thing I'd like to say is that punctuation is really important to DP, but shouldn't be used too much. It cuts up the flow in the poem and makes it difficult to read.

    I love how you had Mindless Self Indulgence in there, that band is so epic.

    My favorite lines were, "we prayed to the porcelain god." That's exactly how I think of the Christian god actually.

    Remember, punctuation should be used only where necessary in DP. Good luck in your contests!

  • the evil angel
    February 8
    Edit | Reply
    How sad! This really s a beautiful dirty pretty write. You did it without really trying, more feeling and i can tell. I've already decided not to pursue the dirty pretty form, but this is one of the best dirty pretty poems entered in my contest. You really had something to say. Thank you so much for showing me this.

  • the evil angel
    February 4
    Edit | Reply
    And what is dirty pretty? I asked for that too. Will comment on the actual poem later.


  • Cyanide Dreams
    February 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is awesome. I really like the dirty pretty. ^^^^______Coma was my favorite part and so was spelling down down. I love how you put MSI in the poem too. I love the background and I really like the poem. Its really cool, and really good. Nice Job. The title was absoultely perfect. The youth of today is really hopeless. Relying on machines and other things to run our life, not being disciplined anymore to show what we need in our life, to walk out into the real world. Good job and very nice write.

    Josh


  • ListeningToSilence
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. wow wow.!!!
    this is so pure.
    i love it.
    your an amazing poet xx


  • Bohemianwriter
    December 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    AMAZINGER-ER??????

    wow for someone who isnt reall into Dirty Pretty, this was pretty darn amazing, and what makes it even more amazing-er! is that i myself am not really into the whole Dirty Pretty thingss so the fact i think its amazing means this is just amazinger-er!?..yah u get it.
    keep it oop! XX


  • Unspecified
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    " H.O.P.E.S. & (D)(R)(E)(A)(M)(S)
    were all we had left as we prayed
    to the PORCELAIN GOD"

    Pure win. Absolutely flawless lines. Stuff like that makes me feel all tingly and get goosebumps. Beautiful write. Good to see you're still around here and still writing. You're incredibly talented.


  • Beautiful Sin-
    November 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I still don't get the "dirty pretty" thing, but I think
    This is beautiful.


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    November 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very well done
    I like the style you penned this in

    Great ending


  • Riderless Diamond
    November 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very touching. I can totally relate :hug:


  • fluffyvampire
    November 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    very. . .

    i love ied it it was very emotional i loved the background and the format it was very visial and i loved it ^^

    kudos


  • P0TE is Dead
    November 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this poem reminds me of high school! i love you, Zombieface


  • TreeWolfe
    November 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    amazing

1 - 13 of 13