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I'm A Believer

Recollection stumbles as ebony tinted dreams
suffocate Madrid streets

"How could have I let them slip?" He said.

Tensed vapors cling to the sable coat
Now, a part of his existence
Promising companionship.
Together,
Despair sheds tears
Evanescence of flickering beads
from the nocturnal sky

The shelter relished, was love
Their hunts on similar nights for willow trees,
when delicate porcelain touched his body
Such memories breathed no more
Now, solitude forced him to feel
misery of a lonesome autumn leaf

Late hours signalized barren alleys
A tangerine heart injecting insomnia
On a lone thread, he kept hanging
Respiring through orbs, that longed euphoria

 

For he was a believer who continued to trust.

Despite the intolerable pain, he still wanted to seek. 

 

Said he,


                          "Who caused this disaster, one day
                              shall bring in the shining sun


                                       But as of today

                 Let the pitter-patter stitch my bleeding wounds

                                For me to feel better...


                  Let the wet vapors, rinse out my blurred sight

                   For me to see life with a clearer view, again

 

                      I will walk till the end of the very end

 

                     Walk till I find my eternal ray of sunshine

                               for a new journey to begin."

Author notes

Picture prompt. Word count: 197 (I crossed 150, sorry! =/)

When I started, I wanted to write so much, because even though the photograph itself is spectacular, it needed a strong story and I wanted to make it unique, so I added the sad element along with a ray of hope... It's a very lengthy one and not one of my greatest works..but oh well! I'm still learning, and new experiences are always fun

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Everwind Rising
    December 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    There is an aching sadness in this piece so well expressed with wonderfully used imagery.


  • aurora13 silver member
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing! Loved the lines -
    " Let the wet vapors, rinse out my blurred sight
    For me to see life with a clearer view, again I will walk till the end of the very end
    Walk till I find my eternal ray of sunshine for a new journey to begin."

    Isn't it amazing when words just touch your heart, and they heal and comfort , in a very strange way
    Thanks for your entry! Good Luck!


  • Mariana gold member
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'Let the wet vapors, rinse out my blurred sight

      For me to see life with a clearer view, again'

    WOW...this blew me away. So Beautiful

    Mariana


  • Jesann gold member
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant
    I so enjoyed the journey of this read...it was wonderful.
    Fantastic wording and imagery.
    Love it so much


  • adsaige
    November 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I adore this piece, for the emotion and imagery I got out of it.
    There is so many detailed beautiful points in this write. One poem
    and you've got my hook, my AP sister, so says Mama Jin!

    You sooooooooo should have placed, really! It's brilliant and beautiful. GOLD!


  • Ken-Maverick
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I see why you asked me to check this out.

    This is something in itself,
    i dont know what to say...
    brilliant indeed

    All the best to you in the contest

    Ken


  • Joseph Hollis
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    All hail the queen of imagery. You're an excellent storyteller and a very humble poet. The extra 47 words make this write that much better. Never let boundaries stifle your creativity.


  • maralisa silver member
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aw wow a outstandingly wonderful poem your imagery is so wonderful your emotions are outstandingly deep I am sure many can relate to your poem good luck inthe contest maralisa


  • innocence jaded.xx
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You are such an amazing writer I love your format of poetry, too. And how in this poem there was dialogue, it really added more to it, really.

    -Tensed vapors cling to the sable coat
    Now, a part of his existence
    Promising companionship.
    Together,
    Despair sheds tears
    Evanescence of flickering beads
    from the nocturnal sky
    ...

    Freaking beautiful ! Your imagery? BEYONDDD amazing. Definitely one of my favorite poems of yours It was just so real and vivid. Thanks for sharing & good luck in that contest ! ♥


  • chilali
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    You are a star! :)

    Such a great take on the picture Alyzeh. And omg! The imagery! Incredible. So this is the one you were talking about?! Thank you for sharing this with me. I absolutely loved it! You are an amazing writer and an artist! The title got that song stuck in my head by the umm..Shoot! Who were they again..Oh YESSS! The Monkees! <3 I loveee them! (8)Then I saw her face, and I'm a believer, not a trace, doubt in my mind, I'm in love, I couldn't leave her if I tried(8)

    Hehe. Amazing poem love. I totally loved it! Awesome, awesome, awesome! You deserve so much more clappies than just three! hmph! Wish I could give you more! Ooh! Ooh! I know! My fingers are tired now Hahaha

    Much love
    Ylova


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    My goodness, what a pensive write, that drew me in quickly, and I loved the exciting word choices, which gave this an intriguing flavor, wow!


    All the best,
    mj.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A lone journey and a new beginning.. like where you took this prompt. I could see him saying those words to himself. Excellently done for the picture.. it's over the word count for the contest but a great read regardless.


    • Alyzeh
      November 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      OH MY GOD! I just realized that. =/ I'm so sorry. I started, and it just kept going on and on.


  • chilali
    November 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Someone is on a writing spree You know the drill. Let me know when you are done love

1 - 16 of 16