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Place face.

When can the ocean calm,
on the shores I tore with hate?
What staples and stiches must i feel,
to let the wound bleed out and heal?

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • McRae by nature
    November 12, 2008

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    Very good. I really like the first two lines. Also, the fact that the two sentences are both questions leaves the reader begging for answers. I would love to see how this piece would come together.

    Carrie

    • will-bob
      November 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you. once this contest is over i'll add on to it. then let ya know.


  • Pyragus
    November 12, 2008

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    67 stitches 4 months of agony, two scarrs running down my cheek for the rest of my life. years of self hate to come. great poem


  • Gulfbreeze
    November 11, 2008

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    I like this and perhaps it is complete just the way it is. Recall the thoughts that started this poem, perhaps those lead into this part. It is a great write, one that begs to be written.

1 - 5 of 5