Come with me to a paradise where tears are never shed
follow me to a land of peace where blood is never bled
forget your pride, forget the world you always thought you knew
look through the doubt and disbelief you always thought was true
open up your heart to love, let your life let go
run into the arms of God where the darkness cannot show
do not let that skeptic idea interfere with this anymore
let love and truth start guiding you so that evil can't even the score
he watches over all you do, he knows your soul and mind
and even after everything, his love you'll always find
even after the second coming, he's still giving you a chance
don't waste away to rot on earth; turn away without a glance
come to a place where pain a suffering are things that you'll forget
you can rid yourself of this torture, dry your tears, and do not fret
just please don't walk away anymore, forget what you think makes sense
remember he who was tortured far more than this all at your expense
all I can say is, though I don't know you, this is all that I can give
come with me away from the chaos so that eternally you can live
Author notes
Singing 
Picture prompt
Set between Jesus' second coming and the end of the world
As for my favourite food...anything Italian
A contest entry
- Where Will Your Road Lead by Starz of Heaven.
750 points, ended November 30, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - change a suicidal's mind by BrittlesSkittles.
600 points, ended December 1, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything :] by Jasmine Rayne.
1200 points, ended December 2, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Through the Stratus by LadyLavender.
1575 points, ended January 2, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - absolutly anything! by nobodys-girl.
527 points, ended December 29, 2008, 81 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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A brilliant wright!
Well done!
Nela -
I agree with Chaos Star that it would be a more powerful read if it were broken down in stanzas...but this is your choice of presentation so i respect you for that.
Overall the piece is powerful and touching.
Good luck and thank you for entering. -
very meaningful
very well written and i love the rhymes and the flow of it. it's a very meaningful poem that has a such a powerful influence and wonderful imagery from the picture. you did an excellent job on this piece and i'm just disappointed that you didn't get a trophy or an honorable mention! but hey, can't win them all! either way you look at it, you did an excellent piece and it has a point/meaning that needs to be read. again, excellent write, poet! keep up the great work!!!
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Thank you very much =D
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this is an amazing poem, very well written, the flow is awesome and overall a ver nice read. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!
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Thank you
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I think you did a wonderful job writing this poem. I don't care about the mistakes that everyone else found...I found zero. I enjoyed reading the message you were giving. I just hope that it is seen by others.
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Thank you very much ^^
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I like the writing that you have here. The rhyme was well-done and I really like the way it flows and corrosponds to the picture. I do think that it is a bit wordy, however. I found myself getting 'lost' in the middle of the lines. Perhaps if you cut the lines in half and put in stanza breaks, it would be better. You already have the lines divided by commas and such in the center. Maybe something like this might help:
Come with me to a paradise
where tears are never shed.
Follow me to a land of peace
where blood is never bled.
Forget your pride, forget the world
you always thought you knew;
look through the doubt and disbelief
you always thought was true.
Open up your heart to love,
let your life let go
run into the arms of God
where the darkness cannot show.
...you see what I mean. It is a great piece,though!
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Ah, thank you for the suggestion
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I like this. :] I love how your beliefs and devotion to those beliefs shows through the poem.
"open up your heart to love, let your life let go
run into the arms of God where the darkness cannot show
do not let that skeptic idea interfere with this anymore
let love and truth start guiding you so that evil can't even the score
he watches over all you do, he knows your soul and mind
and even after everything, his love you'll always find"
Beautiful. Thank you for entering my contest.
Peace
-Lily♥ -
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Thank youuu
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wow this is really nice
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Thanks
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this is really fantastic, i am just amazed at what you have written here, this works so well for both contests, so best of luck in both, great work
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Thank youu
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wow. your rhyme scheme beautifully flows throughout the poem and the message of life is clear. the only part i have any criticism on is "don't waste away to rot on earth; turn away without a glance"
i thought it was implying don't waste your time on earth which is the complete opposite of what i'm looking for. i want someone to be able to think twice of ending their life. to think that life on earth is worth it before they decide to leave it too soon. -
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Thank you
Ah, that is because this poem is based solely upon the christian faith; when I say "don't waste away to rot on earth", it can be defined as one saying "don't live within the world" or "don't put your focus on the things that are of this world". As soon as we put our minds entirely on the world we live in and ourselves, we forget and often deny the fact that we do indeed have a devine, compassionate, merciful creator who loves us very much. And that's where feelings of insignificance and worthlesness start to creep in, which are lies of the devil that he is able to convince us of if we have an open, vulnerable, self/world-centered mind (which is exactly what he wants because he hates us and God with a fiery passion), leading to the ultimate decision of suicide.
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Very nice! Lovely wording, emotion, and images. Nice rhyme!
Nice job!
best wishes in the contest.
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Thank you
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I think this poem is slightly too bleak for the nature of this contest, but i hope you can re enter
message me anytime
Billy (Rhythm Child) -
Nicely said
I reaally like your take on this prompt and think that you said it very nicely. All the best in the contest,Michele
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Thank you
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I love this poem! It's very well written. Do you mind if I post it on my blog at myspace? I'll link back to this page.
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Thank you very much No not at all, I'd be honoured ^-^
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Hi there I like this piece I think that you could of used some more punctuation so the lines don't seem to run on other then that great write thank you for following the rules to my contest be well.
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Thank you
Yeah, there's one reason I don't use a lot of punctuation in my poetry, and that's because it defeats the purpose as to why I like poetry so much; there doesn't have to be any rules.
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Very well done, beautiful idea. A land of no pain and only happiness. What a dream come true... paradise eternal
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Yess....AKA Heaven
Thank you ^-^
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Awesome couplets, fun to read, (good food choice) your poem had a very nice flow to it, perhaps some punctuation would have helped, but not necessary, the rhyme is set up in a way that lent to how you would want it read in couplets (or how I assume anyway). Nice message in your piece as well, and best of luck in the contest.
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Thank you =D Yeah, I tend to be kinda lazy when it comes to punctuation in poetry lol...it's a bad habit, I know -__-
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