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Him-Love, Her-None

FUCK 
last twenty bucks
up in smoke
what a joke

needed a toke
from an addiction
she abhors, see the
euphoria she adores

just a little more
dope, her own way to cope
to find and lose hope
where her mind can elope

to a place that's not haunted
nor tormentented and taunted
with memories unwanted
of an affair that he flaunted

yes, she let's her mind run
as to not come undone
or admit that he won
and the game wasn't fun

Final Score from above: 
Him- love 
Her- none...





Author notes

blah blah blah

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Swan song gold member
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    I love the beat to your words!!!!
    They thundered off my tongue
    you dear are a fine poet!


  • feetus
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love this one
    I love the rhyme too. But maybe I'm biased....
    because I love rhyme. Nah, I'm not biased,
    this is a good write with a good point,
    conveying emotion on a real level, & it happens
    to rhyme well. Thanks for sharing
    P.S. A gram should be less than twenty bucks.
    That's like Starbucks charging $20 for for a Caramel
    Machiatto.


  • SageyBaby
    November 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent piece, the rhyme worked welll with this. great job x


  • October
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful write!
    Last stanza, tied it all together
    perfectly . Quite clever!
    Thanks for sharing!


  • Confusedboy
    November 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lot of feelings you have locked up inside this write. may it be a write only. All the best to you.


  • righteousme
    November 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    no blah blah blah ... this piece here ... its the FUCKIN BOMB ... you know it... stopping being shy ... it does not suit you at all ...
    ENTER IT IN SOMETHING!!!


    • BehindTheShadow
      November 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      See that? I get a comment from you not bitching about the rhyme and the comment before yours bitches about the rhyme. A bit ironic, lol.


  • Walls-within
    November 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I do not like the constant rhyme. I don't think rhyme relays the emotion well enough, and I found it distracting. I, though, am no fan of rhyme in the first place, so that is my oppinon, and perhaps prejudice. However, I enjoyed th last line, and I think it really summed up the poem very well.


  • Harlequin Dance
    November 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I rather liked it. The first word certainly caught my attention. It's rather brutal and straightforward, and it works.


  • FaerieNWonderland
    November 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    loved it . amazing piece


  • Bean Sidhe silver member
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Love it. Hate it. Lived it.

    And it's not easy to walk away from. There were nearly ten years that my addiction cushioned me from real life but I've been clean for over a month and am finally getting past it.

    Nicely captured.

1 - 11 of 11