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The Rain

Within the dawning of a new day brings only sorrow and dismay,
I am choked back by my own fears,
Lost and alone, paralyzed by my tears,
I press the blade against my wrist,
And hope to god for the bravery to persist,

I do not.

I stare into her heavy blue eyes,
And I hold back my fear, depression, and hopeless cries,
I must endure the pain,
Because with every sunny day, must come the rain,

Author notes

"patrick moore plays the xylophone".
Written February 1st, 2004

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • February 13, 2004
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    This poem touched me, and I really hope that you persue with this! Thanks for sharing

  • CrystalMarie
    February 4, 2004
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    Great poem I liked it alot. I liked the metaphors too. If flowed very nicely. Good luck in the contest and Keep up the good work. =)
    Love Alwayz N' Forever,
    ~ :Crystal Marie: ~


  • IrisUnseen
    February 1, 2004
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    breathtaking

    this poem...is absolutely...breathtaking.
    i sorta have a thing for using weather's aspects as metaphors and imagery... and when I saw your title, "The Rain" i knew i was going to love this. it's incredible that u can find the strength to live in the heart of someone you love...yet that's how it always is. and she needs you just as much...she needs you to be her role model and to protect her. i just love your poem...wow. wowowowowow. ur vocabulary choice was excellent and it achieved its purpose well. i can deffinately feel your emotion... thank you so much for sharing it

    thanks for entering and good luck!
    ~Iris~

  • megaroniANDcheese
    February 1, 2004
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    The blue eyes, belong to my only cousin she is three, and she is my heart. Is this the comment you wanted me to write.."patrick moore plays the xylophone". I don't know how to edit my page but I did read your rules. And no I didn't create the poem for the contest. Thanks for reading!

  • IrisUnseen
    February 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    omig...i really really really wanna comment on your entry! but i cannot...that is...until u get that lil phrase in ur author's comments... maybe u meant to ? well aside from that i have one question...is this a true story or was it written specifically for the contest? who's heavenly blue eyes did u look into? i can't wait to tell u all that i thought of this poem!
    ~Iris~

1 - 5 of 5