Anger builds deep within
Frustration flares on your face
Your eyes are dark and dreary now
You are just simply wondering now
Simple lies and disgusting deceit for you now face your defeat!
A contest entry
- 5 line Challenge ... Contest by Riftkin.
700 points, ended November 12, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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love it
sent tingles down my arms, short and straight to the point..well done its a great write!!
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wow ya i do that all the time
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i liked this poem it was short but right to the point. not many are talented like that.. good write hun.
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It's spelled "deceit"
I'm not sure how the last stanza fits in, grammatically. It sounds like a run-on more than anything else. Also, I found the use of commas wearing. They connected together sentences and not phrases, so the whole poem sounded like one big run-on sentence. Still, it's not bad. -
Wow, short, sweet and deep. I like it, its reality nad it's really good, great job
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