A death of a virgin
Ensnared in beastly nails
Penetrates the hymn
Of a veiled delicacy.
He nurtures on the fragile
Untouched goddess and prevails
Exposed to a self injurious
Covetousness of lust drips’ intensity.
Blemished with taunting
Sin excruciating thoughts
She’s no longer a virtuous dove
Buoyant amongst innocence.
As he preys’ within;
Intertwined in thee and above.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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very nice piece keep the coming. it is nice to read you.
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you have a strong way with words..definetely seem to write in a darker tone but i like it
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Amazing
Such great and imaginative lines you've rendered here, Yotta. You are such an inspiring poet. I love all of your works. You've gotten better and better since we met. You may not see it, but I do. Write on!
Bri~
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You do such a good job creating a dark undertone, yet you still managed to make your words beautiful. True talent. This poem made me feel uneasy because it was as if I was witnessing first hand the lost of innocence,which further goes on to prove how well this work was written because it felt so real.
I love it that you were able to successfully use words that completely contradicted each other.
You wrote,"As he preys’ within;/Intertwined in thee and above," preys is such a dark word and intertwined much lighter, creating less bitter emotions. However, when you used them together the way you did, it created a perfect ending. -
Warm,soft,needing loss
Almost a consensual rape. I love the flow, the direct and sensuousness of this piece and your closing line lays my heart down gently wondering if he will stay or if she has just become one more conquest in his never ending search for the perfection that he will never find. Beautifully done!
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It's good but dark
Yotta , I'm not sure what to think about this one.
I think it's good ,but it's so dark . Losing one's innocence is something that scares me ,but that's just me
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wow this is really good, not what i was expecting when i read the title, this beautiful, and deep, it has some dark aspects to it, but i think it's pretty
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